r/naranon

I am currently engaged to someone who has struggled with addiction to 7oh and other opioids. We don’t live together and hadn’t had time to spend together in a while so I went to stay at his house for a few nights. Before coming over he called and informed me he had relapsed. I told him I’d be with him through the withdrawal and it would be ok. Anyways… he claims to be withdrawing and a few days later we’re lying in bed and he starts telling me he’s having a panic attack. I knew in my gut it wasn’t a panic attack. His heart wasn’t racing. And he began breathing extremely shallowly. He told me he felt weightless and like he could pass out. Also told me he couldn’t feel his hands or legs. I asked him if I should get help (as someone who’s experienced panic attacks I knew this wasn’t one) and he insisted I don’t. I kept having to talk loudly and poke at him to get him to breathe. He ended up hyperventilating for a few seconds then settled back into the shallow breathing. I tried to believe it was a panic attack even when I knew it wasn’t. I should’ve gotten help and I feel so guilty. He’s fine but he could’ve overdosed and I would’ve been the only person there and I wouldn’t have done anything about it. I even got up and went to the bathroom and began googling symptoms but chose to trust him. I feel so horrible about it. He could barely keep his eyes open or maintain a train of thought. He admitted to me a few days later that he had used again and felt bad for lying to me. Idk how to feel.

In May, I found my husbands 7 oh bottle. I confronted him and he admitted to using it for about a year. The bottle was just sitting on a table. I assume he meant to hide it but forgot. (I was horrified bc my son and I were in the room playing. Luckily we went into the room at the same time and I saw it before he did. He definitely would’ve assumed it was candy.) When I found it, I looked around the rest of the room and found Zyn’s and multiple bottles of computer cleaner spray (and plastic bags). I’m shocked by all of this. I’ve never done any drugs whatsoever. My husband knows I broke up with someone in college bc of drugs. He admitted to the 7 oh and the Zyn’s but denies doing anything with the computer cleaner spray. He says he was using kratom at first then went to 7oh.

Looking back, I feel like an idiot. His sleep pattern was off, he was irritable/moody, reoccurring scab on his face etc. We had a huge fight in March when he said he was “bored” and wanted a divorce. He’s never said this before. He said he was trying to “get a reaction out of me” a few days later and said he didn’t mean it. But how do I just move on from something like that? So we weren’t in a good place for a few months prior to me finding the 7oh.

About 3 years ago, I was prescribed prescription pain medicine for a wisdom tooth removal that I never took. It was just kept in the cabinet. I noticed about a year later that it was missing. He said that he took it when his sciatica flared up. I was kinda bothered that he didn’t ask and wouldn’t have told me but I didn’t have any real suspicions at this time. About 2 years ago, our son was prescribed a stimulant medication. Our son took a few doses but didn’t react well to it so we didn’t continue it for him. Once I discovered the 7 oh, I went to the cabinet to look for the stimulant and it was gone too. He admitted that he took it when I confronted him. He’s a stay at home dad to a son with special needs and says that he had a lot going on which is why he turned to all of this. His dad also passed away last year.

For years I told him to see a provider bc I felt that he had mood swings and wondered if he had bipolar disorder or if he was just depressed. He’s kind of a loner and I felt that without any friends or hobbies, of course he’d be depressed to a degree. But our son has been in school for a few years now and I encouraged him to get a hobby, make some friends, or even get a job for a few hours each week just to get out of the house. But he never did. After I found the 7oh, he made an appt with a psychiatrist about a month later. Idk what was discussed but he was put on fluoxetine and has been on it since. He says he’s not using anything at all anymore. (Still denies the computer cleaner spray.) And he has been sleeping better, getting up early, working out. He’s now looking for a job for a few hours each week.

I started therapy this past summer because I don’t know what to do. And I really still don’t know. I can see that he’s making an effort but I feel like I still walk on eggshells at home. He has good periods but he’s sometimes bothered by small things. But mainly, underneath all of this, I’m heartbroken. I feel like maybe the right word for what I feel is disillusionment. The trust is gone. I feel like I’m on edge all the time thinking that there is something going on and I don’t know. I’m not sleeping well and my appetite is not great. I’m just stressed everyday at baseline. And thinking about the prescription meds that he took makes me feel like this is a pattern. I haven’t told any of my family or friends. I hoped therapy would guide me (and it has helped) but I’m not sure how I’m supposed to just move on, trust again and go back to my usual self. My therapist asked me what I would need to see from him in order to be more at ease and I truly have no idea. Bc I’m happy he seems to be trying. But how can you continue in a relationship with no trust? Its been months and I just feel stuck. I care for him but I don’t want to be an idiot. Looking for genuine advice. Thanks for reading.

hi everyone, so sorry we are all going through this right now.

my best friend, who i love dearly, has been battling addiction for many years now, both of us are only 21. she is a coke addict now, she wasn’t when i first met her. she is a poly addict and cycles through addictions every year or so. i just want her to get help, i think we can all relate.

she has no family left, no adult responsible for her. her partner is out of the country travelling for the next month. this means she’s just gotten worse pretty immediately.

luckily i am not responsible for her rent if she doesn’t pay it, but we do split bills. she hasn’t missed any yet but she’s unemployed and due to her use she hasn’t applied to a single job in our area, not even since we moved into our flat a month ago. what happens if she doesn’t? what happens if the account is in her name and i can’t access it (eg. i have to get her sectioned).

My husband is 3 and a half years into recovery from opiates. He continues to show his growth in recovery as do I, in my respective healing through my own work.

The other night my parents questioned if he was using. He was caught off guard when they called him the next morning. But he wasn't angry. He wasn't defensive. He wasn't worried. He calmly explained that no, he wasn't using but understanding of their concerns. He offered to take a drug test or whatever else they needed to ease their fears.

I wasn't surprised that they asked that. I knew, before we saw them, that it was going to happen. They hadn't seen my husband for a few weeks because we were incredibly busy with work and other events. Not seeing him for a bit is always a trigger for them that they associate with using and avoidance.

They also rearranged the table so that the grandkids were sitting by them. So that put us on the furthest end away from them. Again, this made them think that it was some type of purpose avoidant move (Even though it was their own doing messing with how we were sitting at the table.)

Because they were already fearful before seeing us, they were watching him with a preconceived notion. My husband was playing a game with my nephew where they put stickers on their heads and closed their eyes and guessed what it was.

Well, when my mom looked across the table to see my husband with his eyes closed (and stickers on his head lol) it definitely reminded her of someone nodding off.

My husband and I did talk about it and being parents ourselves. We can understand it a bit. If it was my daughter's husband, I would always be a bit watchful too. I would always be protective of her, no matter how the years passed.

My parents also have never been to a meeting or ever gotten therapy so of course they are a unhealed and more likely to have triggers they don't understand. But my husband was so humble and just let them get their fears out.

I'm proud of him. Of both of us.