Glimpse of the other side
Just had a perspective shift that nobody in my life can really understand so wanted to share here. Last summer I ended my 7 year relationship with my heroin addicted partner. Leaving was horrible. But I tried to hard to trust them again etc etc all of the stuff we think about when considering leaving. You know. This time last year I was exhausted from worry & stress & taking on financial responsibility & basic life stuff. And I just can’t believe how much space in my brain opened up from not wondering about all the what ifs about their use/recovery/relapse. Like it’s amazing how much more energy I have now that I don’t worry about my partner overdosing or getting arrested or having whatever latest crisis. Recently started dating again & was out with this person who I suddenly realized had a personality lol like what. Interests & opinions about how they spend time & what they like. And I guess I just hadn’t noticed how low my expectations had gotten & how much of my ex’s personality had actually just become their addiction. Like this person wants to do stuff with me & they have goals & hobbies & just are a whole person I guess. Which should not be mind blowing but dang. Anyway, just wanted to say I think there’s an easier life out there for us. I do still love & worry about my ex but the guilt of leaving is gone. Sending compassion & hope & some calm brain space to anyone wondering if the good outweighs the heartbreak. 💕