AITA for telling my mom she’s acting like a child
I (25) live in a city 5 hours away from my parents. I rarely visit but I’m here for a week.
I have my drivers license and have been asking my parents for ages if i can drive their car while visiting.. nowhere far, just within 5 km. The few times they’ve actually let me drive with them in the car, i drove very safely.
Yesterday, i asked my mom if i could use the car the next day, and she (shockingly) said “I thought about this for a while and i decided that you can go alone”.
Later that evening, she made an unprompted comment about my weight (telling me I needed to exercise). This isn’t the first time and I’ve had countless convos with her about how bad that is for my self esteem. But at that point i was tired and didn’t want to fight back so I went to my room and shut my door, went to sleep without saying goodnight.
The next morning, I see my mom, she says good morning like nothing happened. So an hour later, I ask her for the car keys. here’s how the convo went:
me: hi can I take the car keys so I can go to cousin’s house like we talked about yesterday?
mom: no I decided not to let you use my car
me: why?
mom: I don’t need to explain myself
me: but yesterday you said -
mom: I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF
me: but you said-
mom: I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF I DONT HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS
me: ok what are you using the car for today?
mom: none of your business
me: WHY
mom: I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING YET
me: so you don’t have any plans yet and you don’t know when you need the car but you’re not letting me use it
mom: yes
me: can you tell me what changed since yesterday???
mom: well yesterday after you went to your room you made the energy bad
me: you literally told me to exercise and implied I gained weight?? In an offensive way??
mom: it’s not offensive
Me: it WAS offensive to me!!
mom: I’m SORRY IM SUCH A HORRIBLE MOTHER
me: DONT TURN THIS CONVO INTO THAT
mom: STOP YELLING!!!! ITS MY CAR
me: YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, YOU GRANT ME A PRIVILEGE BUT ITS ALWAYS CONDITIONAL. THE MOMENT I DONT “BEHAVE” (aka don’t take shit for her) YOU TAKE AWAY YOUR PROMISE LIKE A WEIRD FORM OF PUNISHMENT”
mom: THATS NOT TRUE. STOP YELLING AT ME. YOU DONT GET TO TELL ME OFF IM YOUR MOTHER
me: UGHHH YOURE SUCH A CHILD!!!!!!
Basically what offended her the most was me calling her a child, and now obviously she’s giving me the silent treatment, and expects me to fawn and apologize.
I recognize that I’m not entitled to use my parents car, and they can say no at anytime. But I despise how any “privilege” she gives me is conditional. She can be as rude as she wants with barely any consequences, but the moment i show I’m ticked off it’s held over my head. On top of that, she acts childish in the way she constantly yells over me, refuses to see my POV, sarcastically apologizes and then stonewalls me.
Now, I’m preeeeeeetty sure I’m NTA here, but I’m already feeling the effects of her gaslighting so I wanted to see what y’all think before I make up my mind. TIA!