“A man’s money is the woman’s money”
We all heard the claim that in Islam a woman’s money is her money but a man’s money is also the woman’s money lol. In reality does this happen though??
Both my parents are doctors my mum sacrificed her career so she can raise us but my she has zero finances and my dad financially controls her. Anything she buys he questions it, if he sees she ordered anything on Amazon like house decor, electric shaver (feminine stuff), etc.. he questions her. (Mind you my dad is extremely high paid, he makes over £20k a month).
Because of this behavior my mum developed severe depression, if she never gave up her job and never got married her life would’ve been better. There’s literally no difference between her and a slave, a slave also eats and drinks. He never takes her on holiday, she doesn’t even have a wedding diamond ring like any married woman, she sold her gold mahr years ago so she can get dental work because my dad refuses to give her money, etc..
I was speaking to my dad about new phones today, I bought a new iPhone and told him he should get one and he ordered one for himself. And I told him why don’t u order mum one as well she’s got an 11 and she said it’s lagging. He told me it’s none of ur business she doesn’t even use her phone as much as me (mind y she’s on her phone all day so she uses it all the time). I told him she’s entitled to half of your money, she sacrificed her career so you can move countries, if she never sacrificed her career u wouldn’t be where u are today, and that “Islamicaly shes entitled to your money because of all the unpaid labor she’s been doing all these years including cooking and cleaning”.
When I told him that he said “why don’t u buy it for her” mind you im 23 and I just started my career in a low paid job while this man makes over £20,000 a month. I also told him she’s ur wife and she’s entitled to your money, he started cursing me and then hang up on me.
Growing up my entire mum’s life is basically fighting to buy what she wants and my dad questioning every single thing she buys. My dad is the type of person to live a bare minimum life no matter how much he makes, he literally owns multiple properties as well but god forbid my mum buys new decor for a table or an electric shaver for herself for £20.
I feel really bad for her because if she never got married or had us she would also be drinking and eating like she is now and advanced in her medical career and had control over her own finances. Muslims like to pretend that a man’s money belongs to the wife but on real grounds there’s financial control and it just doesn’t happen. My mum never got paid for all the unpaid labor she did since she married my dad, not for cleaning not for cooking. Nothing. Even when she had cancer she asked him after leaving the hospital for her chemo if she can order an Uber and he made her take public transport so he can save £30.
It makes me soo sad that my mum had wasted potential and it makes me sad that she watches me buy new stuff for myself but she can’t get the same because if she buys anything for herself my dad will argue with her and return it behind her back. I wish I can buy her whatever she wants and give her the world but I can’t with the amount of money I make.
P.S: my dad is obsessed with Islam and always gives us religious lectures but when I bring up the fact that what he does is considered financial abuse towards my mum and that “islamicaly” his money is her money he gets heated up and starts cursing me and sometimes gets physical