u/Dhandsrhardtotypewif

This weekend’s viral news on the altercation at the hawker, TikTok live streams, Maju forest petitions, and most headlines have an overarching theme to me. Selfishness.

Singapore has changed greatly in the past 50 years. By many metrics, we have been successful. But begging the question, at what cost?

My short answer? Our humanity. Our community. Everyone only cares about one thing and one thing only. Self-interest. Me vs you.

Not a homeowner yet? Housing should be as cheap as possible. Homeowner? Higher better.

Parents? Their kid should have more benefits, Singapore not child-friendly enough. Non-parents? Kids are damn annoying, should have child-free places, parents are all entitled AF.

High-pressure environment definitely produces diamonds from coal, but the yield isn’t 100%. Many people fall through the cracks. And now the cracks are showing. Global competition, increasing population density, higher prices, lower morale.

As someone who grew up in the 1990s, life was simpler and definitely less selfish. No one called the police on us when we played block catching. Void deck soccer despite it being dangerous, was okay because the elderly understood kids will be kids and they just walk further away from the void deck, sometimes not even under the shelter.

Everyone will be even more selfish as the resources continue being hoarded by the wealthy, and the adults now who lament the older generation’s hoarding mindset will slowly begin to realise that is the best way to survive using game theory.

Our parents’ generation hoarded out of scarcity, but gave everything they could for the younger generation. Now? Most of us didn’t face scarcity. We had food on the table. No wars. Most of us had full schooling experience and many options now on how to live life. Our TFR shows that if we hoard, it isn’t even for the next generation but our own self-interest. MY quality of life. MY standard of living. And if everything is me, me, me, all our headlines make sense.

For those who found good communities to belong to, it’ll be the opposite. I am important. But so are we. In sport groups, if it’s casual friendly, beginners are generally welcome. Same for board games, trading card games, dance class, book clubs etc. But if you are an asshole, the group can collectively “exile” you. That’s the advantage of communities. Of course there are toxic communities but exercise your own judgement.

Singapore used to be a community. But now, it’s just a corporation. Assholes thrive. Nice people who are the cornerstone of community get taken advantage of. Find your tribe now, because it’s only going to get harder from here.

Discuss: [25m]

Just got started playing the TCG and it’s great fun. Other than the nexus nights, are there any usual hangouts where people just go to play their decks?

Why do females use the phrase bare minimum so loosely nowadays? Leaving your job to take care of a sick spouse, "bare minimum". Work hard to pamper girlfriend, "bare minimum". When guys put in effort to do these, and ppl say “bare minimum”, doesn’t it just kill all motivation? When a girlfriend acts cute to the guy and kisses him on the cheek, we supposed to reply “bare minimum” now to that also??

Let's make some sweeping statements / generalizations here for a thought experiment from a guy's perspective, points after "-" are the bare minimum standards and in square brackets "[]" are good:

- Taller than 175cm [180cm]
- Looks average at least [above average]
- Earns median salary or higher [80th Percentile]
- Earns more than the female [Earns wayyy more than the female]
- Pays at least half of all dates / expenses [pays for most things]
- Plans the dates [Plan creative and refreshing dates]
- Has an improvement mindset [ambitious]
- Helps out in half of the household chores [does most of the household chores]
- Prioritises the spouse [Sacrifice anything for the spouse]
- Fetches you to and from home for dates [Gets a car for you to be passenger princess]
- Decent job to "show off" to friends and family [Prestigious job / family]
- Don't give additional mental load [Can offload mental load]
- Has hobbies they are passionate in [Are good at the hobbies they do]
- Filial but must put spouse above direct family [No in-laws in the picture at all]
- Dress well [Fashionable]

I barely even listed half of the things I could think of, didn't want to make the list too long. If everything above is "bare minimum", I think at least 80% of the male population is in the basement already. You stack 15-30 bare minimum requirements together, of course hardly anyone will be left. Also, for the guys doing all they can to meet your "bare minimum", please la give them the praise they deserve, not "ok la this one bare minimum".

For people with childhood trauma like me where "bare minimum" is not good enough and must strive to be good, I can only say failure and shame are some of my best friends. For those that have succeeded in being good, I am also curious to know how you are earning 120k at 30 years old, tall, handsome, clean toilet, take out trash, do laundry, fix everything in the house, cook, do dishes, pay for all holidays, gifts, strive for promotion, make time for quality time with spouse, have time to do your hobbies, buy car, make all decisions, plan all dates, plan all overseas trips, spend $$ to look good, keep fit, see family, all in the same 24 hours. Also, god forbid you do all the above and then you forget one thing your spouse said 2 weeks ago and now she's angry and now you don't even meet the "bare minimum", do you also just embrace that failure?

Guys, our life is tough so let's support each other and encourage each other more. Cannot complain because "unmanly and unattractive", cannot cry, cannot show weakness blah blah. Most of us have internalised this somewhat but we can still make change and support each other. Reach out to a bro you know and let them know they're already doing a good job in this environment where expectations on us are sky high, and what we get in return is "an average female is an above average male", when what is listed above isn’t even an average male, it’s the “bare minimum” of a male.

The government is already pushing for AI in every aspect of our lives, even in secondary school and probably soon to be primary school education. If inhumane efficiency optimization is going to be Singapore’s identity, there is an easy solution for TFR: Outsource 100% of childcare provided by government. All the rich people looking for ways to outsource parenthood anyway.

Build a huge all in one facility the size of Changi to East Coast. Raise every single one of the future generation there. All births centralised, have the best gynaes, best post-partum care. The moment the baby is born, give some sort of tagging to parents and government take over the baby since conception. Then, all the babies like BMT style. Thoroughly, efficiently, fairly, cared for, relieving the burden of cost, time and resources from the parents. Can go one month long holiday also can.

Babies will all be grouped according to birth month and year. Can start education programmes from 3 months old. All the resources will be shared equally. No tuition or resource hoarding problem from the wealthy. All parents will be allocated 6 hours a weekday and 14 hours on weekends to spend with their children. Parents can spend it any way they wish, bring the kid out, play with the kid, make them grind if you kiasu, so parents still can “feel” like parents. If it goes well, the facility can even be upgraded so all of the kid’s primary, secondary and tertiary education also happens in that compound. Uni hall life since 3 months old.

Parents who contribute kids into this system will then get benefits based on how many children they produce for the govt.

True “meritocracy”, Singapore style efficiency, economies of scale. All in one. Singapore’s existential crisis solved, system doesn’t collapse because all the rich elites have more “slaves” to work for them once they out of the system. The upper class’ offspring don’t even have to be smart or capable using this model. 20% will still be inheriting 80% of all resources anyway. The “meritocracy” just helps divide the remaining 20%.

If I wearing white and push for this policy in parliament can I get the MP salary and just shake leg for rest of my life?