First Time Truly Alone After Years of Relationships
I’ve finally accepted my diagnosis after several years. I resisted it for a long time because there’s still so much stigma around it. Everyone talks about mental health until someone is dealing with serious mental health issues.
Right now, though, I’m in a good place after going through a very intense crisis. I feel calm, I have a good relationship with my family — probably better than ever — and I’m surrounded by good friends. At work, I have an excellent relationship with my coworkers, and I’m close to getting a promotion.
What’s different is that this is the first period of my life in which I’ve truly been single. My last partner seemed to bring out the obsessive side of me, and I started putting distance between us because I can’t live in that kind of dynamic anymore. It destroys my peace and ends up ruining my life.
Sometimes I wonder whether I’m actually capable of having a relationship, because it tends to activate all of my unresolved trauma. Maybe someday, but not right now.
Looking back at my relationship history, I realize I’ve almost never really been alone.
For people who’ve gone through a major mental health crisis: how long did you spend focusing on yourself before getting back into dating or relationships? Did being alone help you heal, or did it make things harder at first?