u/Different-Athlete-82

Hello everyone, this is my second time posting. Thank you fellow kind strangers who provide words of encouragement on my previous post, I really appreciate it.

I've been struggling alot with my mental health after dealing with some personal problem. The first few week was a hell where I begin to have suicidal thoughts for 1-2 days. I begin to distract myself work and surround myself with people, but atp it was super draining and it's making me feel even more depressed.
I begin to have another suicidal thoughts recently and I feel like it's time I need to bring myself to get those psych referral from a doctor. But the problem is I have no idea how to let them know that I'm feeling suicidal (with no intention of planning to do it as for now). I have this anxious thought that they will report me and make me stuck in a psych ward.

Fyi, I'm a healthcare student who is about to head for our clinical attachment in few weeks. I don't want these problem to linger around and makes thing worse for me and other people. I'm going to be dealing with patient and I want to make sure I am mental capable of doing so. So it's a wise thing for me to take action, I just don't know how to inform my GP about it. Maybe those who go through the similar thing can help out?

I've been dealing with some very rough personal issue (i don't want to talk much about it) and it left me feeling down and hopeless for couple of weeks now. I've tried to heal myself by doing something I love. While I'm able to function well in school and hobbies, unfortunately I still feel nothing but sadness and loneliness. Its draining, it's so draining to be around people. I hate myself, and I hate everyone. It gets to the point I've been having shortness of breath and chest pain, probably due to overwhelming stress and anxiety. I've tried some method to ease myself and my body, but now it came back and I just wanted to cry and cry. Not to mention I've been having some couple of suicidal ideation. I've barely talk to people, talk to them about my problem.

Now I'm writing this with another episode of chest pain and shortness of breath, I feel so overwhelmed. I wanted to see a doctor for this, but idk how to explain my condition. Everything feel so overwhelmed and I just wanna curled up and never want to wake up again.

My mind is so scrambled so sorry if my vent makes no sense. If anyone has an advice regarding going to see a doctor, it would be helpful.