r/myhappypill

Im tired of feeling like an alien and never being able to fit in with a neurotypical-centered society. It will be nice to be able to have a safe space where i do not have to worry about masking or over explain anything in regards to what comes with being neurodivergent.

For more context,i am a disabled 28yr old female.

Last night at Kajang hospital. They said checking in would make me worse. I told them I was a danger to myself and others- I was on the cusp of a mental breakdown and I would take my life if I was certain I'd harm someone or take my life after. I'm a good person and I'm sane. It's just the other versions of me I've compartmentalized and put away that'll do my bidding. Afraid of them. So afraid. I know from experience that when I take too much from it all or break they start to take my body over and I have no control left and I come in and out of consciousness. I've done everything right. It can't be my fault anymore. The system has failed me. I've gone to therapy, I've talked to friends, I've called the suicide hotlines and they've hung up on me, and I broke down crying in the emergency room and had my heart race so much they hooked shit up to my chest with my shirt raked with the nurse saying "sorry, sorry," like she knew... I've had too much. I don't know if I'll be the same person tomorrow, or tomorrow, or tomorrow. Said that because my dad can take care of me I'd be better of at home but really, I don't care about myself anymore. I just don't want to hurt the ones I love. I regret not telling them back then. Don't want to go back and do the walk of shame with my dad and these people, and imagine, what if I get turned down again? They don't understand. I can't talk. Please make sure I don't hurt them. I don't want to hurt them. It's like they want me to traumatize my little bro, my sister, throw them against the wall, pin them, I don't know. They want me bad enough until I can't take it back. And dad really thinks I'll be fine and that he can take care of me but I'm at my breaking point. So tired fighting to stay in control. Please just let me lose my mind. Can't do anything. Can't get worse or better because I can't risk it. Too tired to do the whole thing again, guys. Please... Help me... This is the last thing I can do. I've been holding on for so long.

i need a fresh restart, badly. i need to leave everything and everyone and sort my feelings out. bad news is, once i come back i know im going to feel this way again. it never stops. it never leaves me, i dont know how to ignore it. i need to go somewhere just a bit far, just a bit unfamiliar, just a bit foreign so this void can feel justified. but i know whatever i do is just a temporary escape, im always going to feel this way. im 22 now, its been a decade, i grew up but im also stuck. im too afraid to die and im too much of a pussy to end the life i couldnt find the purpose of. i look in the mirror and i look human, i have feelings and i talk, i walk and i behave like one. somehow, i dont feel like im one of you. i feel like an imposter. on some days, im so afraid someone might find out. i dont know what they will find out because im just another human. it’s so hard to explain. i can connect very well with everyone, i just cant maintain those connections. no matter what i do, there’s an unexplainable gap.

Hey everyone,

I'm an international student from Egypt planning to pursue a Diploma in Information Systems (or IT) in Malaysia because it's one of the more affordable options left for me right now.

I genuinely have very limited choices at this point, so I'm seriously considering it.

The big issue is that I have ADHD and I really need medication to function and study properly. In Egypt, it's extremely difficult for me to get stimulants which is basically almost close to impossible, as most doctors don't recognize the disorder as a major issue and dismiss prescribing it.

From what I've researched, Malaysia has Concerta and Ritalin available but there seem to be frequent shortages.

I'm really worried I won't be able to reliably get my meds there as an international student. Has anyone (especially other internationals or people with ADHD) dealt with this recently in 2026?

- How bad are the shortages right now for Concerta 18/27/36mg?

- Is it realistic to get a local psychiatrist prescription quickly and affordably?

- How expensive is it out of pocket?

Would you still recommend Malaysia for someone who depends on ADHD meds to succeed academically?

Any real experiences would help a lot. I'm stressed because failing my studies due to not having meds would be disastrous. Thanks in advance!

Hi guys. As per title, may I know what's the retail price for ritalin (10, 20mg), medikinet (10, 20mg), and concerta (18, 36, 54mg) in malaysia per pill. I'm on concerta 36mg right now.

I feel like im a burden, I genuinely do

Im 16 and i feel like my whole life ive been absolutely nothing

I hurt myself and hurt people I care about in the process I cant even help it its like im a ticking time bomb that could explode anytime all because I think people are going to leave me and it varies on whether id yell and scream or push away people and try get them to leave me

I got told by a psychiatrist last week that I have symptoms of extreme emotional dysregulation and disassociative symptoms and I have no certain diagnosis due to it being my first session, I just want to know whats wrong with me

Ive let people use me whether it would be as a punching bad, a void to let out and scream everything out to and for my body but I still cant find anything to live for

And my stupid emotions eat me whole I dont even know who I am because all I do is take my closest persons personality and abide to what they want

I let them break my boundaries I let them use me financially I let them use me entirely and I still feel like no one loves me

I dont even believe my family when they say they care about me because ever since I was a kid theyve yelled at and hit me for crying but all of a sudden they care now

Like where was the enthusiasm for this when I was 6

I just want all of this to be over I just want someone to love me

My bestfriend says he loves me but I refuse to believe that knowing how abusive I can get

All I am is an addicted freak who cant do dogcrap with their grades or hobbies, and all I can do is be a terrible person

So tired of everything.

I feel like I have nothing left to give..

I don't have love in me for the person I have to care for.

Sometimes it feels like I'm a really bad person.

I've been fantasizing about wanting to run away, leave everything and everyone.

Tomorrow I have to send my mom to dialysis again..

I feel heavy every time.

Tomorrow I also have a zoom session I wanna join, about ADHD topic.

It feels like I can't focus on myself.

I dislike the nurse at mom's clinic. I hate the questions, i hate the commentaries..

Wow very pleasing to hear “there is no such thing as mental health “

Autism ? You’re just delusional and not focused.

You do not get any compassion or acknowledgement even though your mind and body you know yourself is severely depleted.

It is because there is more pain in the world, I cannot feel this kind of pain . Dude I just wish to solve problem can u please stop gaslighting

No matter how much information or books u provide. As long as falls to deaf ears it is null effect.

Sorry if this is a rant. It is

I just want someone to talk to. Even though sometimes I feel like all I do is talk talk talk and it doesn't help anyways

I've been trying but stuff just keeps happening to me and I'm so easily overwhelmed by even the smallest thing that I feel like I can't fucking breath. The urge to hurt myself is coming back again. My fingers are itching with the urge to scratch my skin until I bleed. I just had a panic attack over this situation I'm having with a lecturer.

I want to take a semester off so fucking bad. But I don't think just taking a break is gonna fix me. I have a fuckton of underlying issues that make me all fucked up. Besides, technically I have it easy this semester because some of the classes are conducted online...but I'm still struggling. I know that if I just put my mind to it, I can catch up. I'm just so burnt out at this point and I don't want to feel like this anymore but it's so hard to actually put in the effort to get better

I'm already going to the psychiatric hospital and taking antidepressants. I'm already going to counselling. I'm already trying to help myself because that's what I'm supposed to do right? No one can help me until I help myself right? Cuz I have to do everything by my fucking self around here. But I feel like I'm walking around in the same maddening circles no matter what I do. I'm told all the things I already know over and over again by well-meaning people that are trying to help. I know I need to put in the effort but it feels like to do what I'm supposed to do I have to relearn how to be an entirely new human being because I don't know how to live any other way. Even though the way I've been living is destroying me from the inside out. I know I'm not supposed to hurt myself but it's so tempting and at this point it feels like I have to do something extreme to myself for everyone to give me a fucking break

Fuck everything

Was wondering if anyone knows how/where I can access EMDR therapy in malaysia/kl? Not sure whether any mental health practitioners provide this service here because its more well-known in the west

Adult male

Yes I’ll pretend like I don’t have any issues operating normally at first. Put up your best face as they say.

But then I think if I really want to go deep. My partner will need to know. “Hey I take meds and I have PTSD, anxiety , depression. I struggle in certain situations and have panic attacks on probably normal situations”.

I have no idea if my partner will just throw me away there and then. Given the country’s mental health perception and knowledge.

Yes I feel doomed to find a partner

Hi everyone may i know pharmacies that sell Concerta in Selangor, especially Shah alam area?

i missed my appointment two months ago in GH, so my next appointment is in August to change my meds.

Ritalin gives me crazy headaches, palpitations, jittery and i cant even function properly, worse than without taking med. So i need to find other viable options :)

Do people know what is a prefrontal cortex ? Amygdala ?

What does your nervous system do?

People with mental health illnesses literally have a different brain structure, therefore their responses to daily scenarios are different.

ADHD or autism literally isn’t your choice .its in built genetic.

Generally do people even know these things ?

Instead of “I’m just finding excuses “

One thing is certain. Ignorance is powerful, or better yet, convenient

Life sucks, i wish to be gone

I've been feeling more depressed, and thinking of death. I watched some videos talking about it.. and one of the video says to just reach out to anyone.. but i dont really have reliable support system..

So instead days ago just to cope with the feelings I update my whatsapp status and upload a photo of rope. Which got me msg from old acquaintance.. telling me not to keep it in yet at same time telling me not to upload that kind pic again.. and think about God.. i didnt call them because i have feeling i'd get religious lecture. I dont like it.

I feel hopeless with people, life and myself..

Sucks so much.

I'm not looking forward to today's caregiving duty.. i have to send mom to dialysis center.. the nurse there kept calling me lazy.

These days ive been feeling apathetic about death.. whether its fantasy of my own or other people's..

I see that my home is decaying..

My room is cluttered..

The living room has shit and smells so bad.

The kitchen has maggots.. to the point theyre climbing up the handsoap and dish soap bottles...

My dad has been having bad temper... Well.. that's who he has always been.. but nowaday it feels constant... Insults...yelling..

My brothers...another story...

Therapy dont work..

What's the point of therapy if you dont wanna live life..

I hate cbt..

I hate the way therapists and doctors treated/talked to me. I feel so bitter.

Im so let down by life.

Dealing with cptsd sucks..

I feel like i wanna die..

Just be gone..

I’m already pretty familiar with the mental health scene in Malaysia, unfortunately.

However, my PMS as of late has been making me extremely depressed and more emotional than usual which has negatively impacted multiple aspects of my life.

I’m wondering if any of the people that menstruate here has any experiences with getting PMDD diagnosis or support/therapy?