u/Alone-Stomach5477

I’m sick of the non reciprocity of people nowadays.

My therapist told me that I should find a place where I belong, but how can I?

My current friends are all flaky, even if they are well meaning and aren’t necessarily doing it on purpose. I try and make plans and they don’t even respond to me for days! So many friends who tell me “we should hang out again some time” and they never do, because they don’t actually mean it.

When I go to events and meet new people, it’s actually very difficult to find anyone who even wants to reciprocate these efforts. It’s not so easy as to “just socialise and meet new people and you’ll find your people”, because I’ve been doing that and leaving empty handed every time.

It’s so fucking infuriating that no matter what I do this non-reciprocity is present almost everywhere, it makes me feel like im stupid for ever asking for the BARE MINIMUM. I just feel so mentally exhausted and fed up that self isolation looks like a way better option.

(Before you comment, please don’t tell me to just “love myself” or “focus on myself” more. You do not know me or what efforts I have put into my mental health recovery. Thanks.

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u/Alone-Stomach5477 — 8 days ago

Meds make me feel inhuman

After I’ve upped my meds, I feel like I’m losing touch with myself. It feels like it’s easier to ignore what my body feels on medications, and my actions are becoming misaligned with my mind. I feel nothing when I jerk off now, nothing at all. I don’t feel fear when I’m supposed to. I don’t feel as hungry as I should be. My desire for creation, my curiosity and everything has become so faint. When I felt misery, it felt absurdly fleeting.

it makes me feel so inhuman that I’m not behaving according to my wants and needs anymore. It feels like my body is running without its mind and my mind is operating without its body.

I really do hate this dosage change, I feel so inhuman on it, but my psych insisted I “needed” it.

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u/Alone-Stomach5477 — 3 months ago