I feel so behind
Idk if this is the place for this but here goes. I feel so behind on life. I’m 20 and so I know that it’s “ridiculous” to feel this way but I do. I hear so much about people my age or younger who have done amazing things, like the backrooms dude. Same age as me and he’s directing an A24 film. I’m not even good at the basics of my job and I’ve been there almost 2 years. The worst part is I know that if I really tried to do something, anything I could succeed. Everyone in my life tells me I’m smart since I never had to try in school but that’s exactly the problem, I DONT KNOW HOW TO TRY. Half the time I don’t even care and I just go through the motions but lately I’ve felt even dumber at work because I can’t do anything there right. Not in the “my boss and coworkers hate me” way but in the I just always fuck up way. Everyone I know is doing more or has cooler stories or more skills and talents and I just hate myself for it. I know “comparison is the thief of joy” but I hate myself for it either way. I want to be special, I want to be cool, I want to be interesting. Not just to other people but to myself. I’m just tired of being a waste of potential but I don’t know how to be anything else, or how to even start trying. Every time I start to try I fail. Idk what else to say.