Am I in the wrong for feeling undesired?
My fiance (30m) and I (29f) have been struggling with this issue for years. We have sex maybe once a month and it’s usually after an argument of me saying I feel undesired. Only then. Never on his own. We just went on vacation and we probably wouldn’t have had sex if I didn’t bring up the topic once again so tbh sex like that feels awful and doesn’t count in my head. He never just looks at me and wants it. Well anyways the second we got home he got his toy went into the bathroom to watch porn. I don’t mind him watching porn but our sex life is in shambles and that’s what u do first? I’m tired of feeling like I’m not chosen. I’m in the room right next door. I understand maybe he just wanted a quick stress release and now he feels shame bc I caught him so I feel a little bad but this is hurting my self esteem. Why am I not enough? Our sex life is so weird and unsexy. It’s like I have to remind him to have sex with me. Meanwhile he was just waiting this whole time to look at his porn girls. Gosh what do I even do.