u/Different_Bottle1164

I was on lithium for about 4 years. Recently my therapist (also my psychiatrist, sort of, but there’s a whole other thing I don’t want to get into rn lol) has decided they think my symptoms of bipolar are mild enough to be without meds. I had an early onset diagnosis and my therapist said that sometimes diagnoses of bipolar in adolescence can present way more extreme during that time of life than compared to adulthood. This decision was based on the fact that I’ve been entirely inconsistent with my meds to the point that my levels have probably been zero for months, and I haven’t had any episodes but I also feel better mentally and physically without meds. Not in the manic way, but when I was on meds I had zero motivation to do anything and I had a lot of self image issues due to the weight gain and bad skin plus poor hygiene because of the lack of motivation, which inherently caused a lot of social anxiety. I have regular appointments with my therapist, and I do have a psychiatrist that I can call so I have support that will notice if it possibly is heading in the wrong direction, so please nobody worry because that’s not the issue I just wanted to give backstory lol.

But to the main point, ever since getting off lithium, I’ve really had zero appetite. Like I can go a day or two without eating a proper meal and still not be hungry. It’s not because of anxiety or mania (which normally was the only reason this would happen, but that was more of like I had such a rock in my stomach that I couldn’t eat) but now I’m just not hungry at all. I still make myself eat something, but I’ve lost quite a bit of weight (not complaining lmao, just curious if this is common) Does anyone have experience with this? And does anyone know why this is happening?

Edit: also wanted to mention, I am not depressed either, and appetite loss has never been a symptom of my depressive episodes anyways, usually I get a very big appetite during those times.

First time it happened a few months ago I had no idea what it was. It happens usually either when I’m in the process of falling asleep or waking up. It feels like my brain is shrinking and a wave of hard pressure or electricity goes from the top of my brain down to the base over and over like whoosh whoosh whoosh. It’s such a hard thing to explain. It’s not painful per se but it is not enjoyable whatsoever it’s a really bad and uncomfortable feeling and I feel like I’m dying every time. I also cannot move my body or talk when it happens except I am able to kick my feet around sometimes. But I always thought they were just brain zaps bc I didn’t know what those were. Then the other night I had a really bad one. Every time I breathed out the wave sensation got worse than when I was breathing in. My jaw was forward a bit and my teeth were biting and I couldn’t move again. I was like aware of what was going on but also very woozy and out of it. It was almost like I was just rlly rlly tired while it was happening. But then as soon as it was over I wasn’t tired at all anymore I was able to open my eyes sit up and walk around. I asked my brother about his brain zaps because he takes SSRIs so he sometimes has them then when he said it’s more of like a split second reboot in his head I started freaking out bc that’s not what’s been happening to me whatsoever. My things usually last minutes and it’s a complete different sensation. I looked up some stuff and I think it’s been seizures but I don’t know how this could happen. I haven’t been to a doctor yet but I have never been diagnosed with epilepsy. This has happened probably 4-5 times in the past few months I can’t remember exactly how many times. I’m getting bloodwork tomorrow to check medication stuff and see if that’s the problem. But does this sound familiar to anyone?