u/Different_Cod_6268

claim they are trying to become or claim to be therapists, psychiatrists, teachers, etc? I found out someone I know with bpd became a special Ed teacher. At the least got their degree for it. It terrifies me the thought of them being around vulnerable children of any kind. This person had no patience, very little kindness or compassion. Was often openly volatile, erratic, and would have verbal outbursts. Never ever did they express or desire to be around or even like children. How in the heck could they be working with special needs children? What am I missing here? If I had a therapist with bpd I would end it after the first session.

It’s been years now since it ended. Why do I feel guilt and shame? I don’t even have anything to actually feel guilty over. I feel embarrassed and pathetic that I dated someone like her. What I have realized is I was so lonely that I chose to ignore the myriad red flags written all over her. Ignored it all and accepted her for who she was. Now I’m worried that I’ll be alone forever or that I will only meet more severely damaged and mentally ill women who will take advantage of and hurt me. All I wanted was a serious, committed relationship with someone who would love me.

not completely over my bpd ex and everything that happened. I swear it’s driving me insane. Every time i start to feel better, all of a sudden out of nowhere she pops back up in my head. It’s like I’m on an endless loop. I will go months not even thinking about her. Then out of nowwhere she’s back in my mind. This is so unhealthy. I don’t know what to do about it anymore. Sometimes I wonder, did she put some sort of obsession spell on me? Which just can’t be. That has to be my mind overthinking and being ridiculous.

To make matters worse I was scrolling on tiktok one day a few weeks ago. Then I see my ex is now making content on there. We had a mutual friend that I follow. She makes asmr content eating Candy now….. so bizarre. I got off Facebook. I never used Instagram. So I never expected to see her on there. She never used tiktok before. Claimed she never would. I know I need to simply stay away from here page so it’s pretty simple.

As far as thinking about her though, I’m at a loss. I’m sick of bothering my family talking about it. I’m sick of looping in therapy. I don’t have any friends to talk to. I was always very grateful to this sub back when we first broke up. I was able to feel some sort of comradery on here. I was able to accept that I would never have closure with my ex. It doesn’t help either that have such low self esteem. That I never felt like i fit in anywhere. At least I felt somewhat at home here. I’ll always be grateful for that.