u/Different_Goose_8033

Look at the whole universe or even just the earth and the space around it. It is extremely fascinating but instead I’m spending my time looking for work or working. Look at the animals on earth the mystery of undiscovered species. The Amazon rain forest everything so beautiful but I’m surrounded by compact brick houses. I just go outside and everything is just not interesting or special, work feels like slavery even though I’m getting paid. I wish I was born in a time without big city’s or technology. I wish I could go outside and see pure nature untouched by human construction. Imagine going to space, that is next level BUT CANT CUZ GOT WORK TMOZ this world is so boring I wish I was a stupid caveman or a traveler in the very old times.

Edit: Obviously it ent easy to live off the land, saying that don’t make you Einstein. If you was brought up that way and learned from childhood you’d know what to do. People say the life span is about half but back then it wasn’t half it was normal. It was half of nothing because no one would’ve known the life span of today. Maybe it is harder but yk what is hard. Living up to 80 lookin like a raisin, bones scraping, teeth falling out. Wasting precious time of life working. What I am saying is, I would much rather being brought up back then

About 3-4 months ago I had a seizure (my first and only since) although I have had auras or focal awares think they are the same. I have had them before my seizure but never lead up to one. I thought it was quite a nice feeling😂😂😂. When I had my proper seizure was at work. I got an aura but it just escalated into a seizure. I was told it was around 20 minutes but no one knows the exact time I dont think. I haven’t been diagnosed and I have an eeg soon. I’ve been talking medication but Im just taking another 2 weeks until I increase my dose again because the side effects get me. I’m on 50x2 lamotrigine and a low amount of keppra. I smoke weed to deal with these side effects. I smoked weed before my seizure and tbh I am addicted. Honestly since my seizure and taking medication weed has actually been helping me. I’m lazy especially right now but if I have a smoke I’ll go and clean it. Sometime I have no appetite and can’t eat through the day and it catches up on the night and I’m starving and can’t sleep, but if I have a smoke I don’t have any problem with that. I mostly am just inside all day and I know going to the gym will make me feel better and stuff like that but the difference I feel is real and it helps. Also I am aware that because I do smoke and I am addicted it does make being sober feel worse. I just feel like I need a break and I can’t even relax in my own bed sometimes.