Cousin died, engineering sucks
My distant cousin died yesterday, and he was only 24. Four years ago, my other cousin died, and he was only 18. Both of them were stellar students. Both of them worked their asses off for a future they didn't get to live. Both in vehicles on the highway. I'm in engineering, and I hate it. I'm a junior now, and the ball is always rolling, but I don't know what I'm doing here. I just do classes, go to stupid ass club meetings, apply to internships, suck up to professors and recruiters in hopes of a fucking job. Just had a terrible weekend, and I had to study my way through it. I just worked a shift tending to sad and hurt patients, just surrounded by death and pain and people's regrets. Picked up some stupid republican Trumpie dipshit who got hit by a car was telling me that he bullshited his way through his youth, barely passed high school, and now he's a millionaire stepping on the necks of poor people essentially. Boasted that he makes money in his sleep. Now I'm gonna stay up all night studying for shitty ass fluid mechanics and stupid ass calc 5. But the crazy thing is that I can just study my way through this shitty ass degree and die the day after I get my diploma like my cousins, while some dipshit is gonna live a great life, get hit by a car, and survive. While people like my cousins died. Like, what is the purpose of all my suffering? It doesn't guarantee any success. It doesn't buy anything.
Btw, I'm not suicidal, so please don't hmu with this nonsense. Also, I have a therapist, and yes, I'm medicated. Okay bye.