i miss him so much
i’m going through the texts between you and i, looking at the one pinned message that makes me cry everytime i read it.
you admitted to me that you projected your issues onto me, you admitted your wrongs and i accepted you. although i was, and still am, too much to be handled. i love you so much, my heart yearns and cries out for you every waking moment. after our arguments, being pushed away, no contact; everything.. i still want you, i still love you and have always loved you since we met. i will always be a pain in your ass, even when we aren’t in contact; i know i’m very annoying and i want to text you everyday, to update you and have you apart of my routine again. loving you feels so right, having you in my life feels so right. we have so many issues to work through, in my own life and yours, and yet; i hoped to work on ourselves together. you were the only person who knew the depths of my soul, the only person who wanted to understand me and you still never truly did; like you said, “maybe that’s not the point”. i have loved you for 1204 days, since february 2nd 2023; since when we first got together. i have loved you in the deepest parts of my being, i never once doubted my love for you. you were the brightest person even when you were struggling. you were the sweetest person there was, even when you were fighting yourself. you had the cutest smile and the most handsome face when i saw you. your personality is one that no one can ever compare to. i will look for you in everything, in everyone.
after everything, i forgive you but i also don’t. i promised you multiple times i’d stay for you, i’d wait for you. i want to see you, have you run your hands through my hair and so we can hold hands while walking through the mall. i want to cuddle with you, smell like you, look into your eyes and tell you i love you with all my heart.
i will always give you another chance because i know you can be better, i know you can improve. i so hope to see it happen and i want to be there for it; for you.
i miss you so much, my handsome man. i miss you and i love you, i hope you’re okay and i’m so sorry for ruining what we had. i’m sorry for being so insecure and having my problems bubble up to the surface. i’m sorry for not getting the help i needed soon.
i love you, always. i wish for you to call and tell me you feel the same again. i’ll wait for you, like before.