My old man is struggling and I don't know what to do
My father 76M recently lost his wife, our mother and today marks the 3rd month since the day of her death. The last three months have been dark, he has been constantly in a state of despair, eats fine but lost weight and skin around his chest has stuck to the bones. All he does all day is brood in the places around the house where our mother would be. He has filled the house with her pictures, almost every room has a photo of her now. It isn't helping at all, all urges to move him around is hopeless. Today he is standing over the grave and crying his eyes out, he doesn't like people around him when he cries.
All my life, he has been a rock and a pillar. The strongest man I know but the period around our mother's passing, I saw him break down mentally and physically. The greatest loss was however, spiritually because he is a pastor. Since her passing he has stopped attending the same church he spent half his life administering and preaching, holding sermons. He avoids christians like bane now. I am watching him fall apart and I feel helpless. I have struggled with depression in the past but made it out by starting to run, social drinking, I wrote, I smoked and I had friends but I don't see the same mechanisms in his life that could possibly help him out. I feel helpless and sometimes wonder if he will die of sorrow himself. I want to understand how older people closer to their 80 struggle and cope with the thought of death. I wanted to understand what I can do to help and how I can at least make the existing situation better.