Sexless marriage
My husband and I have been together for almost 14 years. We have two kids. After the first one sex started to decline, when the second one same it’s gotten worse. I want sex but my husband seems not interested. He always says she is stressed, when I was pregnant he said he was scared to hurt the babies (although I explained this is not true and showed him research that what he is saying is not the case), or that he is tired.
These days he has a new excuse, I don’t touch him enough, I am to negative that is why. I think he is having health issues and I have asked that he sees a doctor he always rejects the idea. When we start playing around, he is unable to erect, when he does it doesn’t last more than 2 minutes. I am 33 he is turning 40 this year.
I am so frustrated at this point I am actually considering an affair just for sex. Because anytime I bring the issue up I’m shot down- told all those excuses and he never addresses anything. I said try viagra- I gave it to him once and everything went okay, but afterwards he said he will never use it again it’s for old people.
I am at a loss, I am frustrated everyday. It’s to the extent that I am even scared to bring up the topic- because he starts saying that is all
I think about. This year we have had sex only once. That is how bad it is. What should I do? What would you do if you were me?
Update
I have been reading the comments and listening to what everyone has to say and I think I have found a solution:
- Stop expecting much
- Work on myself- my health, mental heath and beauty.
- Kiss him more, touch him more and not expect anything much. If he says no then that’s also fine.
- If he continues unable to erect by the end of the year- have the conversation with him again then suggest divorce or perhaps opening up the marriage.
I will put my effort in every day and see how it goes. Because every thing else is fine, only the sex isn’t. And I’m still willing to work on the marriage at this point.