My Mistake
It's hard to scratch the surface of everything I need to say. It seems so absurd writing this and sending it into the void rather than coming clean directly to you.
I've changed a lot. I've toiled, I've failed, I've struggled, hoped, loved, had my victories. I have come through it to be what I hope is a better person.
But then there's you.
I try to tell myself about about red flags, have you not cross my mind. I try to forget and not to care. But I do care for you. And I know that it just feels right with you.
I'm sorry for everything, I wish I had the willpower to not get drawn in again. I feel so guilty about so much that I've done in the past. Upsetting you. It always comes back to you, but I can promise you I am not right for you.
Every time I find out how things are going in your life it eats me up a little. I still always want to know and always wish I could be there, be part of it.
I don't know what I am to you, what the future may hold for us. If you ever contact me I try to stay guarded for both of us, but you melt away the walls I try to put up.
I think the best way I can finish this is just by saying sorry once more, as if that one word could do anything.
I'm sorry.