Intensive mothering - is it possible to avoid the pressure while still being a good mother?
I’m expecting my first child and already feeling consumed by guilt and inner conflict between the desire to be a great mother and the refusal to lose myself completely. Has anyone here felt this and how do you navigate this conundrum?
I recently came across the concept of “intensive mothering” and I think it perfectly describes the current parenting culture which expects mothers in particular to dedicate their time, energy, body and mind to their children. Coupled with the economic reality that many women have to work, these incredibly high expectations/self-imposed standards create a lot of pressure which already feels overwhelming.
My sister has really sacrificed herself completely on the altar of motherhood and is suffering from intense burnout. She has repeatedly told me that being a parent sucks (her words) but that I will surely love it. Hearing this, something inside me rejects the idea of adopting this “intensive mothering” standard. At the same time, my sister is an excellent mother and I admire her approach, so I feel selfish for not wanting to dedicate myself to motherhood as much as she has.