EDIT: Our daughter’s birth mother, not ours. I mean when I say it, “our” birth mother as in the birth mother that made this incredibly loving decision for ALL of us.. but I understand that it may be considered inappropriate or inaccurate so I stand corrected.
Speaking from the perspective of an adoptive parent here, so obviously this is just my perspective:
But for anyone who is considering open adoption: a healthy open adoption is POSSIBLE!
We are so, so lucky to have met our birth mother. She and her partner are together and have other children and due to factors in her life she did not feel she could be the mom she wanted to be to her unborn child, which led her to adoption. She was selfless, loving, and BRAVE.
It was difficult for her which she was open about and there is no question in my mind that she is a wonderful mother to her children and a wonderful human.
We are understanding and supportive that she could WANT to keep baby and love baby but also believe it was not in baby’s best interests and that it could be difficult for her… and that there is trauma that all adoptees face and we will address that with the best, most trauma informed adoption competent therapists and resources we can find for both birth mother and baby as she grows.
That being said… we have a lovely relationship with her and we are so grateful for her. We speak almost every day and I feel like I didn’t just meet my adopted daughter… but I gained a sister I didn’t know I needed. We are even taking baby and birth mother and baby’s sister to Disney in a few weeks for a girl’s weekend!
All I came here to say is: if you are CONSIDERING open adoption or are looking for stories… this is a happy ending - and we both (birth mother and i) feel that way.
Edit 2: our daughter is the main character in this story. While she is young, her birth mother and I feel this is a happy story, but her opinion may be different and we will ALL be respectful of her experience and opinion.