u/Diligent_Flan6404

For context, me and my mom have been watching horror movies together as I've been getting more into them recently. My mom asked me earlier today if I wanted to pick out something to watch, so I looked up horror movies and saw that. I had heard that it had an allegory for being trans in it and since I've been wondering if I'm trans myself lately, I wanted to see how my mom responded to it. The movie was a lot more obvious than I thought, and even though my mom said she was lost and didn't know what was happening, I could tell she at least got that part. (Quick spoiler warning) Around the end when Owen is, like, dying in the bathroom at the arcade, my mom said that she hated Owen and wanted them to die faster. I don't really know what to do. I'm fine with being a guy, but I feel like being a girl might feel better (I have precious posts here that go more in depth about how I feel). Being that I don't really have a problem with being a guy, should I just not say anything?

So, I've been thinking about myself a lot recently and I've come to the conclusion that I don't mind being a guy, but I'd prefer to appear feminine and want people to see me as a girl without being able to tell if I'm a guy at first glance. I know that sounds really dumb, but I go far more in depth about that in a previous post here. The problem is that my state doesn't allow gender affirming care for people under 18. Additionally, my parents seem to think me experimenting with my gender is just a phase, and if I were to explain how I felt to them, they probably wouldn't be willing to do whatever it takes to get me on estrogen because "if you're fine with being a guy, then why do we need to get you on hrt?" They haven't said that, but knowing my parents, I'm certain that that's probably how that conversation would go. I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation other than just wait, save money, and pray that I can get estrogen once I'm over 18. If anyone has any tips, I am completely open to suggestions.