u/Diligent_Grab2545

I’m not a good person. I would like to be, but I’m just such a hypocrite. I think it’s bad to exclude ppl and I would know bcs I’ve been excluded, but I just can’t care it it happens to someone else. I care if it happens to a fictional character or if it happens to me, but not someone else. There’s this girl who’s done nothing wrong and is perfectly nice and is literally just dealing with the death of her father, but I’m purposely ignoring her and excluding her. I don’t have a reason, I just don’t care for her. I have no empathy. All my friends are including her and I’m agreeing with them out loud, and they feel bad that she lost her father, but I just can’t feel bad. Like, I physically can’t. And I know I would be devastated if my father died, but I don’t feel anything for her. I feel bad for myself, fictional characters, and animals. I wish I was normal like my friends, but I’m just not. I genuinely don’t think I would care if someone I know killed themselves unless I was rlly close with them. When my other close friend was going through something, I supported her, but I didn’t feel anything for her in my heart. But for someone reason I expect everyone to feel empathy for me, even if I can’t give it back. I don’t practice what I preach, but I swear I’ve tried, I just can’t. As long as my friends are loyal to me and think good of me, I don’t care what happens to them. As long as they like me, that’s all I rlly care about. I wish I could feel bad like a normal person, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do, I just want to be normal.