It feels like I ruined my life 😭
Hey guys... I'm (18M)... Completed 12th (PCB) in 2025-26 session...I was a good student in my school life, I always got good grades in every subject and never scored less than 95% in any class.
One day, The idea of studying bachelor of nursing abroad hit me and my friends... We were planning about appearing for PTE (Pearson Test of English) just after 12th exams... Our exams started on 18 Feb 2026 and ended somewhere bw 26-27 Mar 2026... After then we enrolled in PTE coaching classes on 1st of April... After then I appeared for my PTE exam on 15th of June and got 80 overall out of 90 total... I was very excited that day... I was seeing my dream of studying aboard completing gradually.... But but but... When I was in class 12th, I've never thought of the financials that are required to show for study visa.... Since my father is a govt teacher, he files an ITR... But our family income is not that much to fulfill visa requirements (For Australia and Newzealand)... That day I got depressed, not bcz I can't go abroad.
The reason is: In our class we were 3 students which study the most... And everyone thought that we are gonna do something really big... (Even i too). One of them appeared for JEE and secured 98%tile in first attempt and is now pursuing B.Tech Civil engineering from NIT... And the other got AIR 55 in agriculture university entrance and enrolled in agricultural research program... But me, I was fucking blind to study abroad, I didn't appeared for any examination other than PTE... My biology teacher always told me to appear for NEET-UG but I was very overconfident that I'm not made for these exams... I'll escape the matrix and go abroad for nursing. And I've also given my 11th class books to a junior student... I'm having the 12th ones.
And after giving PTE... I'm sitting free at home not doing a single thing but playing PUBG all the day... Now I'm enrolled in a local university in Bachelor of medical laboratory science (4yr)... The classes are about to begin in end of October.
I'm fucking depressed... why I didn't take NEET or CUET exam... Bcz I know, I hold the potential of cracking these exams and get into a good university for Medicine. I still have an option for doing this... But I don't wanna take a gap year... And now only 7-8 months left for NEET 2027.
After that... I researched about study in Italy, but again dropped the plan bcz I'll alone in a country where I don't know anyone... I don't know what the fk is happening with me rn... I'm struggling very much to decide my career... I love studying Physics, but hate studying Maths... I also hate chemistry but got 95 marks in chemistry in boards... And neutral for biology 😭... Now I'm wasting my time daily by playing PUBG... how my god how different I was in class 12th and now I'm stupid.