feeling lost and heartbroken
hi everyone,
my (18f) grandmother (72f) was just placed on hospice and i am really struggling to accept it. she has been very sick for a very long time, but i still feel like all of this has happened so fast and that i haven't had enough time with her. i'm feeling really guilty because these past several months where she really started going downhill, i've been away at university and haven't been able to see her very much at all. the hospice nurses are visiting her every day and have said she's in active dying and it could be anywhere from hours to a week. i'm really struggling right now with all of the uncertainty about when it will be and i feel so empty and lost. she was more like a mother to me my whole life than a grandmother and i'm having a really difficult time grasping that this is really happening and she won't be here much longer. my mind keeps replaying all the memories i have growing up with her and all i've really been able to do is lay in my bed and cry. i miss her so much and even though she's technically still here she's gone mentally and her physical body won't be here much longer.
i guess i really just wanted to talk about how i am feeling with all of this and was wondering if anyone had any advice for coping during this time? i feel really alone and it would be nice to hear from others who have experienced/are experiencing the same thing.