u/DimensionThin7718

My agency reached out with a possible match. I have some initial misgivings, and I want to know if I’m being rude or picky.

here’s the info I have:
IP is a single parent of 2 kids. Almost 60 years old. Had a rare acute autoimmune disease last year.

We are supposed to have a zoom call to meet this week, but going into the meeting I’m not sure if I think I’m right for them. I just worry about the baby going to a parent who may not have enough support.

Thoughts?

We managed my mmc through d&c last month. Two weeks ago, we found out the other embryos didn’t make it through the thawing process. IPs had to cancel our contract. Forget the money, we’ve been in this process together for 2 years and now it’s just over, and they get nothing. I’m now back in the matching process and have been doing okay managing all these feelings.

Today, the pathology report on baby came back. she was fine. she was totally normal. she just…died.

This has set me back emotionally, obviously. my partner is great and supportive. The hardest thing about it has proven to be that the remainder of my family acts like they don’t understand why I’m sad. It’s like I bring it up and the conversation goes like “That’s a bummer. Anyway…”

People have said some truly horrible things to me. Many of them have been my own family, and I’m struggling with this because there’s no one to talk to who understands what I’m going through.

When I told my family baby died and I would have to wait weeks to see the doctor, my mom said, “They’re going to let you walk around with a rotting baby inside of you?”
My pregnant sister called baby a corpse and then proceeded to explain to her daughter in front of me that it isn’t as sad that this happened to me bc it’s not my baby and it would “be different if it happened to us.”
As if I don’t know it wasn’t my baby…but this is actually happening to me and the IPs, right now.

I have been in a contract since 2024 and it ended this week. We had a successful transfer that unfortunately ended in miscarriage that wasn’t my fault. None of other embryos survived, so it’s over. Being a surrogate is still something I want.

I am looking for another contract. Must go through my agency, Expecting Care. Must be located in the US.

You will find me to be compassionate, informed, and respectful of boundaries. I have some remaining IVF medications from my previous contract which is only recently ended, so that’s a bonus.

I am supposed to be 8w4d. Baby‘s heart stopped at 7w5d. No bleeding, no cramps, and not much guidance from the fertility doc. My OB recommends d&c. What should I expect?