r/Surrogate

Hello everyone! My husband and I are looking into pursuing surrogacy after a battle with infertility due to adenomyosis, endometriosis, and PMOS. We are in the PNW and were considering Pacific Northwest Surrogacy Center. From what I understand from their website, we would need to pay $40,000 upon signing with the agency, and then they would begin the matching process. From what I have seen on this sub, paying before match is illegal advised. I am looking for any input or advice on this topic as we want to make the smartest decision with the agency we choose. We like that NWSC is close by, but don’t want to make such a huge financial commitment without feeling solid. Thank you all!

I have been in the process of becoming a GC for almost 10 months now. Every document, clearance form, and interview completed - and I just learned that my agency had to say that they can not continue with me as a GC.

This is through no fault of anyone, and the agency staff are such wonderful, caring people, but I am absolutely devastated.

For background: I have an extensive childhood trauma background. I have received therapy for most of my life and am very open and transparent about what happened to me. I have a resilient personality and have spent so much time working through possible emotional responses. It is frustrating that events outside of my control are preventing me from helping others.

My husband and I agreed to table the GC process for a couple of months and work through the disappointment. Just needed to share, and I guess ask if there is anyone else in a similar boat? Or if my background is too much and this avenue is just something that isn't meant for me? Would love some outside perspective.

Hi everyone, been following this subreddit for a while now and really appreciative of everyone's comments and advice, but I don't think I've seen any specific posts about this:

My partner (M) and I (M) are based in Belgium (he is Belgian, I am Irish), and in the research phase of our surrogacy journey. At this stage we are more than likely going to pursue the journey in Mexico, but given the distance we'd have to travel to create embryos there and the cost involved with making more than one trip to Mexico (considering we will probably have to relocate there temporarily around the time of birth), we are looking into creating our embryos in Europe and transporting them to Mexico.

Has anyone here done that - i.e. created embryos in Belgium/Europe and transported them to Mexico? Are there any glaring reasons why this is not a good approach? Is it a much more streamlined/cost-effective process to just travel to Mexico to create embryos there with a Mexican egg donor? Or is transporting even just the sperm to Mexico and having embryos created there, without the need to travel, a better alternative?

Would be great to hear from people who are in a similar situation to us! I feel like a lot of the dads on here are US-based which obviously makes it much easier to travel to Mexico.

Hey everyone!
A while ago, I posted feeling completely torn between adoption and pursuing surrogacy as a gay couple.

Well, after a ton of long, late-night talks, research, and weighing all the pros and cons... we finally made our choice. We've decided to go the surrogacy route.

It wasn't an easy or quick conclusion to come to, but once we focused on our desire to have a biological connection to our future child, the path became much clearer for us. Ofc, adoption is a beautiful path, but for us right now, surrogacy feels like the right fit.

Now that we've crossed this mental hurdle and are officially moving forward with surrogacy, we're staring at the next phase and trying not to panic.

So I wanted to ask: how did you take that very next step?
Did you start reaching out to clinics first, look into agencies, or focus on legal research for international paths?

Hello everybody.

I have taken an interest to becoming a surrogate. It would fulfill me to make a family happy. Please contact me. I have one daughter, I am single, I am looking for the compensation because I am a single mother and want to get ahead for me and my daughter. But I also do not want to waste my body’s ability and I want to make someone else happy.

Please contact me. I don’t know how to get in contact with anyone. We can go outside and agency or inside. I am willing to terminate if you desire. I am a single woman and it would fulfill me and make me happy to help someone else at this time in my life.

My pregnancy was very easy in my opinion and no complications. I had my daughter pretty quickly. I do want an epidural. Please contact me if interested.

Best,
Alexandra

Hi everyone! I’m looking for an egg donor and surrogate attorney in California who can assist with legal documents and representation. I’m open to attorneys and firms of any size and would prefer someone with fair and transparent pricing.

If you’ve personally used a surrogacy attorney or had one recommended to you in the past, sharing their information would be so helpful. Thank you!

We are IPs and just recently signed with an agency that came recommended by our IVF clinic, who apparently have had many happy IPs over the years with them.
Unfortunately, we are experiencing very delayed responses from them with every correspondence.
It takes 4-7 days for them to respond to any inquiry and I just sent them requests to connect with a few GCs on their website and have not heard back in a week.

Is this normal for an agency to take this long for everything? Are there any avenues for IPs after paying the retention fee if this type of delayed communication continues?

Deciros que esta agencia de Suecia ahora ubicada en Madrid también clandestinamente miente en la información que facilita a los IP. Afirman procedimientos legales que no existen , mencionan prohibiciones médicas que no existen con la intención únicamente de que hagas embriones en USA y generar mayores comisiones para ellos . Después además respuestas vacías y ocultando partidas económicas ante situaciones como abortos pérdida de órganos etc . Si los costes no son detallados y se afirman cosas que son mentira cuando las confirmas con otros profesionales, mal empezamos.

Además de lo que hemos leído sobre ellos . Conclusión: comisionistas que solo quieren tu dinero .
Además no hablan idiomas como el español . Te atiende un señor brasileño. Utilizando argumentos vacíos y siempre hablando mal de otras empresas con las que hayamos antes hablado . Esas son sus técnicas de venta . No deben de haber tenido ningún proceso terminado de familias españolas porque no tienen ni idea. Solo tienen colaboradores en españa pero para eso no necesitas contratar a ellos .

Poco serios .

Hello all!

I recently have been looking into the surrogacy journey and very strongly want to help gay couples. The main reason for this is because I know that there are a lot of women that may feel strongly against it, especially in this country (U.S.).

I have a few questions for dads that have been in this process.

1- What company, if any, did you go through? Did you have any red flags with certain companies?
2- How involved are most couples wanting to be in the entire pregnancy/birth?
3- Do you/Did you want the surrogate mother to stay open for communication with the child later on?
4- Are there any lifestyle deal breakers that you had for your surrogate?

I am 27f, with 3 kids. My youngest is 3 months so I'm not looking to start anytime soon, but if I were I just want to know if these are deal breakers. I've had *mostly* uncomplicated pregnancies. With my first I ended up needing an induction at 38 weeks due to hypertension, but had a successful and uncomplicated birth. With my second I had gestational diabetes, but I genuinely believe that it may have been prediabetes due to not taking care of myself very well before birth. With my third I ended up going into natural labor at 35 weeks because so I got really sick and worked on my feet and the dehydration sent me into labor. All of my babies were born with no issues or c-section. BUT my main concern is: with there being 3 separate "complications" does that automatically make me less desirable? I've worked on weight loss and just overall improving my health since I experienced complications with my first two which I believe were specifically because I was overweight when getting pregnant.

I don't wanna reach out to 35 surrogacy companies and have my number stuck and get a ton of spam calls.

Thank you all in advance.

Hi all. I know this is a stupid thing to worry about but I am nervous about weight gain during my surrogacy. I am 37 and when I told my sister about my decision to be a surrogate she was completely unsupportive. She told me repeatedly I’m too old and I’m going to be fat afterwards. Please can someone just make me feel better? I’m a professional actress and I’ve always been a healthy weight.

On another note how have other surrogates handled an unsupportive family? My mom and sister are deeply unsupportive

https://preview.redd.it/h3e7gdbbc2kh1.jpg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32047a15670d26b466674d782f67159107d8c032

We know researching surrogacy in Mexico can bring up a lot of questions, especially if you live in another country and are trying to understand how the legal, medical, and overall process works. If you're considering Mexico and have questions, leave them here, (hey can be about the legal process, clinics, creating or shipping embryos, surrogates, timelines, birth, documentation to return home, or simply where to start). We work in the surrogacy field in Mexico, and the intention of this post is simply to share information and help people who are currently researching their options.

I mentioned the idea of surrogacy to him, but he’s not on board. He’s worried I might get too attached to the baby and feel like I’ve done something wrong. I’ve done some research, and I know I won’t be attached because it’s not mine. I’m starting to feel like I’m going through a midlife crisis at 29. I’ve been looking for a sense of purpose in life, and helping others through surrogacy would be great. And I think its my calling also, The compensation would also help my family. I would really appreciate any advice, especially from GC.

I’ve booked a call with the agency I like to discuss it on Wednesday with my husband, but he still doesn’t know I’m considering it. How can I convince him to at least hear about it?

I've noticed there's kind of an imbalance in surrogacy. A lot of intended parents are open to independent journeys, but way fewer surrogates are. I guess from the surrogate side, going through an agency has limited downside. They handle the logistics, the matching, the paperwork.

But I'm curious: Is there anything that would actually convince you to go independent?

This McKenna West case has been making me feel so ill and anxious. My understanding is that she agreed to terminate for medical reasons but then decided those reasons were not sufficient. (I also think she is using this as a money making opportunity and is a GOP SCOTUS plant but that is a topic for another day.)

I am pro choice and pro TFMR for a number of health concerns, and I am wondering how many surrogates share the opinion that if the condition can be treated that it’s not sufficient to terminate? My understanding is that this baby will be facing a huge number of surgeries and likely a heart transplant if not another when he is older. I am so scared about having that decision taken away from my husband and I. This child would be so very wanted, but I also do not want to cause suffering. I’m sure I’m wording this in a clumsy and inelegant way, just feeling very shaken. I would love to hear from GC’s/surrogates who have terminated for medical reasons in particular, and also to hear some reassurance that this is not normal.

I created this Reddit account specifically to announce that I am going to be a surrogate! I'm currently keeping the secret from my sisters because I haven't matched yet. And although I know they will be supportive once it's a for sure thing, meaning when I'm pregnant, they may try to talk me out of it if I I say anything beforehand.

Yes, I am fishing for congratulations. It's just something I'm very excited about but can't really share with anyone I know right now. So if you don't have anything nice to say just move on.

I've decided to become a surrogate because I can't think of a more incredible gift that you can give someone than to help them start a family.

Hi ! Our surrogate is almost 35 weeks and we’re starting to plan our trip to Georgia Europe for the birth. We both work, so we need to plan our time off in advance.
If you did your journey abroad, when did you arrive, before the due date or only after the baby was born? How did you plan it with work?

Im Torn between this agencies.

1.Brownstone - first call was amazing very informative and does video call not a phone call. so its very good conversation. Always top pick of ip/gc.

2.Egg donor & Surrogate Solutions- A lot of good reviews and many people recommend them.

3. Egg donor & Surrogate Institutions(EDSI)-
   Very good compensation above 70k with lots of benefits but when i call them it feels like transactional.

hopefully some of you can give me advice who to choose and your experience under this agencies as a surrogate.

I’ve looked for the answer to this but can’t find it anywhere.

I just had my match officiated on Monday. After looking over the comp package again, I saw that there is an amount of $3k that is paid out once match is officiated. Do I need to request this? Does someone just send it over?

I’m waiting to find out when we are doing our medical screening, my cycle day 1 should be the 26th of August so assuming I’d be traveling the week of September.. any experience with having to wait another month after match officiated or do things happen pretty quickly?

From what i can tell this isn’t that common. Im wondering how it will feel and if anyone has done this and regretted it.
She’s single and has wanted a baby so bad her whole life but her uterus is incompatible with pregnancy and her egg count is extremely low
We will attempt to use her eggs.
I would be extremely close to baby afterwards and that kinda scares me? I have 3 kids of my own and i am very maternal, i worry about getting depressed afterwards or feeling too connected to her baby afterwards. At the same time maybe I’m overthinking it.
She is very close to us we live 10 mins away and see her multiple times a week and she watches our kids as-well.

Anyone else surrogate for people you are close with?