I had a friend approach me and ask me about letting her be my surrogate, as I have had 11 miscarriages and have now been diagnosed with PTSD & Recurrent pregnancy loss.
For the last month I have been trying to get ahold of a lawyer and no one will get back to me. We are wanting to start this process as soon as possible.
We also will be using an egg donor, who is another friend of mine.
I’m located in KY, I have never known anyone that has done a private surrogacy, and egg donation. I’m looking for any info on either of those!
Also, pricing info would be amazing as well as parentage info!

Any info at all helps! Thank you so much

If so, what are your thoughts? Also, do you have any recommendations for agencies?

We’ve heard many different things. Our babies at 5 have been asking about mom, and we attempted to explain to them that their “mom“ helped us have children, but never really got to explain surrogacy in details to them. they already seemed a bit confused. When do y’all think is the best age to explain to kids that they were born via surrogacy?

Pineapple Family Co-Founders

Independent surrogacy is not the same thing as DIY surrogacy. And honestly, that distinction gets lost constantly.

A lot of people hear “independent” and assume it means going without support, structure, or safeguards. Like you’re somehow skipping the serious parts of the process.

That’s not how independent journeys work.

Independent surrogacy still involves reproductive attorneys, fertility clinics, psychological evaluations, escrow management, insurance coordination, and medical screening. The legal and medical infrastructure is the same. The difference is who coordinates the process, how much you pay for that coordination, and how much visibility and control you actually have along the way.

Traditional agencies often charge $30,000 to $60,000+ for matching and coordination services. We built Pineapple Family because we believed technology could handle much of that coordination more transparently, and at a fraction of the cost.

Our own story is the reason this platform exists.

My husband and I paid an agency $45,000 for a match that ultimately failed after embryo transfer. We lost two embryos. After that experience, we pursued independent journeys ourselves and later welcomed two children through surrogacy.

What changed wasn’t luck. We just finally understood how the process actually worked.

Once you realize the clinic handles the medicine, the attorneys handle the contracts, the psychologists handle the evaluations, and the escrow company handles the funds, you start asking a different question:

What are families actually paying agencies tens of thousands of dollars to do?

That question became Pineapple Family.

What Pineapple Family actually is

Not an agency.

Pineapple Family is a platform built to support independent surrogacy and egg donation journeys through three core systems:

Mutual-interest matching
Intended parents, gestational carriers, and donors all choose each other. No assignments. No hidden profiles. No one-sided matching process.

The Journey Doula™
A milestone-based coordination system that helps every party stay aligned through legal, medical, financial, and logistical steps. Timelines, tasks, document tracking, communication, and next steps all live in one place.

The Grove
A free space for intended parents, gestational carriers, donors, and professionals to share information, ask questions, and support each other openly.

What this means if you’re a Surrogate

We do not charge gestational carriers to use the platform.

We do not take a percentage of your compensation.

We do not assign you to intended parents.

You choose who you want to speak with. You control your profile, your visibility, your preferences, and your boundaries.

You also see the process more clearly. Cost breakdowns. Milestones. Provider information. Expectations. The goal is not to convince you to move faster. The goal is to make sure you actually understand what you’re agreeing to before you agree to it.

That should be standard. It usually isn’t.

A quick note on safety and screening

Independent does not mean unregulated.

Medical screening is still handled by fertility clinics. Psychological evaluations are still conducted by licensed professionals. Legal agreements are still drafted by reproductive attorneys. Escrow is still managed by escrow providers.

No platform, agency, clinic, or coordinator can guarantee outcomes. What matters is whether people have access to the right professionals, the right information, and the right structure to make informed decisions.

That’s what we’re trying to build.

A refund policy that reflects reality

Surrogacy and egg donation journeys are emotional, complicated, and sometimes unpredictable. Matches do not always move forward, even when everyone enters with good intentions.

Most agencies still keep the vast majority of their fee when that happens. We don't think families should absorb all of that risk alone.

Pineapple Family includes a 72-hour full refund window before you connect with anyone on the platform. And if we can't facilitate a match within 12 months of active engagement, we offer a full cash refund.

The full refund policy is on the site, written in plain English.

"The Pineapple Share" is our commitment to shared success

We also built something we haven't seen anywhere else in this industry.

Once Pineapple Family becomes profitable, a portion of annual profits will be distributed equally among intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors who completed a journey on the platform that year.

One person. One equal share.

Not because anyone asked us to. Because the people building families here should participate in the value they helped create.

Learn more about The Pineapple Share.

Where we are right now

Phase 1 is live today.

We’re taking a deliberate approach to growth because trust matters more than speed in this space.

This community shaped a lot of our thinking while building the platform. A huge amount of what exists inside Pineapple Family came from reading real experiences from surrogates, donors, and intended parents who were frustrated by how fragmented and opaque this process can feel.

We’re early. We’ll keep improving. But the platform is finally live, and we’re proud to put it into the world.

Questions, skepticism, concerns, feedback? All are genuinely welcome.

Read our full introduction here.

Hi all, first time posting here. My husband and I have been searching for a surrogate for a while. We paid an upfront $13K retainer to an agency and waited 9 months without a single candidate presented to us.

Last weeks, I got frustrated and decided to try going independent. Within about 3 days, I found 5 candidates to talk to (not all are equally qualified, but still much better than 0 candidate in 9 months, and we are proceeding with an amazing independent surrogate).

The contrast is so stark that I keep wondering if there's a gotcha I haven't hit yet, or if this is just how it works once you step outside the agency model. For those of you who went independent: what pushed you to make the switch, and how long did it actually take you to find your match?

Genuinely just trying to learn from people who've been through this. Thanks in advance. 

I am a single man with everything else in his life squared away wanting to find a young healthy surrogate for my embryo. I will pay for the usual, food, health insurance, travel, doctor visits, vitamins along with compensation. You need to have a valid passport as we will need to do the IVF procedure in Europe (where the embryo resides). Along with the compensation l will provide you a place to stay with additional time after the birth of the baby or until your doctor clears you for travel.

I am hoping someone out there is able to help me complete my family.

Thank you,

Okay… random surrogate question because pregnancy cravings are weird 😅

As a 2x surrogate and someone who works in the surrogacy field, I’ve heard some wild pregnancy craving stories over the years, and it honestly had me curious based on my own experiences…

With my first surro journey, whose family was Asian, I suddenly craved Asian cuisine constantly—foods I normally liked but definitely didn’t crave like that. Then with my next surro journey with intended parents from London, I really didn’t crave anything outside of my normal foods at all.

Probably totally coincidental, but now I’m curious—did anyone else notice funny craving patterns between journeys or did pregnancy just make us all weird? 🤣

Beste lezers en bedankt voor jullie tijd om dit te lezen,

(Wij wonen in Nederland.)

Mijn man en ik hebben een wens voor een tweede kind en zijn op zoek naar tips, suggesties en opties. Hoe hebben jullie dit gedaan?

Ik heb een heel zwaar en traumatische zwangerschap en bevalling gehad van mijn eerste kind (nu 1 jaar). Ik heb vanaf het einde van de eerste trimester bekkenklachten gekregen waardoor ik heel veel pijn had. Daarnaast was ik hierdoor vanaf 20 weken aan huis gebonden en afhankelijk van een rolstoel. Ik heb nu nog steeds dagelijks pijn en ben heel rustig aan het reïntegreren op mijn werk.

Als of dit niet genoeg was, ben ik te vroeg bevallen bij 35 weken met een keizersnede voor een dwarsligging. Wij zijn hierna ook een week in het ziekenhuis moeten blijven voordat alles goed genoeg ging met ons kind om haar naar huis te kunnen brengen. Hier heb ik een post traumatische stress stornis van overgehouden waar ik nu voor wordt behandeld.

De kans dat ik opnieuw bekkenklachten en te vroeg zal bevallen bij een andere zwangerschap is heel groot. Dit heeft een grote impact gehad op mijn hele gezin en betwijfel of het verstandig is om opnieuw zwanger te worden. Ik ben vooral bang dat ik levenslange bekkenklachten zou overhouden waardoor ik wellicht niet meer normale dingen kan doen, de zorg kan dragen voor mijn kind of nog kan werken.

Wij zoeken suggesties van hoe wij onze wens voor nog een kind kunnen vervullen zonder dat ik opnieuw de fysieke en mentale risico's hoef te nemen. Adoptie en surrogaat zwangerschap zijn wij tegengekomen maar deze lijken zo moelijk om in de praktijk uit te voeren? Is het zo moelijk als ik het me voorstel? Alle tips zijn welkom!

Zijn er ook mensen die in een vergelijkbare situatie zitten?

I think I under estimated the time between match meeting to transfer. From your experience as a GC or IP what would you say the time was between match meeting and transfer day?

Hi, I just want to explore the surrogacy options and outcomes. We have 3 PGT-normal embryos - 5AB, 5BB, and 6AA at Carolina Fertility Institute in North Carolina. I want to see how this process works, including costs, loan options, timelines, and any input from IPs and surrogates who might be willing to share the experience. Thanks a lot.

For those who already went through matching with a surrogate mother, when did you first start communicating with each other? Was is done directly through the agency or were you able to communicate with her on your own?
I’d love to hear how matching works in different agencies and countries. Did you meet or talk before the official match, or only after everything was approved and finalized?

So I’m currently trying to find a surrogate, and a close friend reached out saying her friend was interested in becoming one. When we spoke, she told me she wanted to be honest upfront — she’s LDS/Mormon and would only feel comfortable carrying a child for someone who shares those same beliefs.

I grew up in the church but I’m inactive now and no longer practice, so hearing that honestly triggered something in me. This whole journey of not being able to carry a child has already been really emotional, and that response brought up a lot of feelings.

At the same time, I’m genuinely curious — is this common? Are some surrogates very selective about religion or personal beliefs when choosing intended parents, especially when doing independent journeys? I completely respect personal boundaries, I just didn’t realize that could be a factor.

Now that I’ve completed my surrogacy journey and already have my baby, I sometimes look back and realize how many things I worried about at the beginning that ended up being totally different in reality.
One thing I’m curious about: what was the biggest surprise for you during your surrogacy journey?
Would love to hear other people’s experiences.

https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/comments/1t624wx/ukraine_is_a_global_surrogacy_hub_but_that_could/

All of a sudden, a lot of negative comments appear.

What is more, it happens almost at the moment of publication.

These users often subsribe to the same subs.

Ordinary people get the impression that almost everyone is against surrogacy. While plenty of polls, even in the most surrophobic countries, prove the opposite.

This is yet one completely overlooked point, which is a consequence of the lack of consolidation.

This is one of the reasons why bans on surrogacy are being passed so easily.

That's why gays post "they made surrogacy more difficult. I cried all night." and agencies jump from one location to another one.

Maybe it's to time to do something, before it's too late?!

upd: this is also harassment of families and IPs.

ILGA Europe have not included surrogacy in its annual reports but have included artificial insemination.

That is, biological parenthood doesn't matter for gays, but it does for lesbians.

Surrogacy must be addressed as an LGBTQ issue. And opposition to surrogacy is a form of homophobia. Lack of this is one of the main reasons why things are so bad with surrogacy in Europe. It is highly unlikely that they are unaware that today surrogacy is perhaps the only way to build families. As gay couples across Europe report that adoptions have become extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Why such disregard for us? Why on Earth is Spain dark green? For torturing gay families?

Gay men have completely lost their identity. And bi men are never taken seriously at all in the mainstream LGBTQ organizations. It is we who must determine our rights and not allow others to impose them on us.

Plus, servility to anyone who calls themselves a feminist, even if they cause a colossal damage. That's why ILGA Europe is afraid to include surrogacy as it could cost them politically, but isn't afraid of losing G and B(m) at all. Or simply don't want to do it in spite of the obvious demand for it. and instead of protesting, gays write on forums "They made surrogacy more difficult. I cried all night." And also upvote biased reports like that. Or repost it. Of course, it's about LGBTQ people.

Why is there such disregard for our most important issues in these LGBTQ organizations? Gay couples can't create families. What could be more important? Could this be changed? Or is everyone content with this grim situation?!

I’m a first time surrogate working with an agency and currently reviewing my compensation package. They cover a lot of things and for the most part I think I am happy with it. I would like to request 70k for base comp, but is that too much for a first timer?

What did you ask for and what other things did you request?

I'm going through my options and currently doing IUI for myself at 30. I already feel deeply angry and very unhappy at becoming a parent in my 30s, being raised by older parents myself but it is what it is, I've gone to a professional, and we've decided it's better now than later to try for a biological child for me. I didn't freeze my eggs for that reason and my health testing thankfully came through really well to start to try and my doctors are really supportive of the plan.

IUI is kind of a step before IVF, which I'm sure everyone here knows does have reasonable failure rates- neither are a guarantee of a baby, and I feel mentally prepared for that. Science and biology is out of our hands after all.

At my age, I do have a LOT more options than I would even five years from now, and so I have considered beginning to save for possible surrogacy now, if not for my first child- then for a sibling as I know I don't want just one child and also know that a second biological child might not be possible.

So, I wanted to ask, what do you all think of older RPs? Would you ever not want to take on a surrogacy because the parents were older, even if we used a double donor embryo or younger eggs/sperm and that wasn't a factor? At what age would you consider to be too old and not want to participate in it?

I think I could have the savings and 50% extra of the amount I'm thinking to save, by 38 or 40 if I just redirect my personal savings, and maybe earlier if I locked in- by that point, I'd be looking into embryo adoption or using a double donor- would those ages be a strict turn off for anyone in here?

I'm just asking questions right now and not looking to make any kind of commitment, just gathering more information to make a decision, thanks!

On my 4th set of IPs... 1st ones wanted me and I felt really good about it, they were even nearby but the husband backed out due to having another surro already due in June and I guess that scared him. 2 different sets of IPs did not move forward with me. Is this common? My profile was well put together I felt like and I used all great photos. Should I be taking it personal? Lol

We are IPs from California and have been on the journey looking for GCs since last December. We recently came across a nice experienced surrogate from Texas who enjoyed meeting with us on the match meeting hosted by the surrogate’s agency named “Everbloom Fertility Solutions”. After the match meeting, the agency reached out to us and happily informed us that the surrogate wants to help us.

We were so happy and grateful until we saw the cost estimate presented by the agency. The surrogate is only getting a total compensation package of $87,000 (base, bonus plus all the allowances etc.), however the agency wants $60,000 agency fee, $8000 pregnancy management fee, $2000 for background check and almost $2000 for managing the escrow account. Essentially the agency wants over $68,000 just for agency fee alone, which drives the total estimate goes up to $190,000. On top of this, we still need to pay additional to cover IP’s own attorney fee.

Since the agency fee is much higher than all the other American agencies we spoke with (usually $35,000-50,000), we were hopeful that the agency could just drop the price a little bit as a sympathy since we have reached our budget limit after already spending over $100,000 for IVF and $15,000 retainer fee with another agency.

We underestimated how cold hearted the agency lady was. She wouldn’t offer any discount and showed zero sympathy or interest in helping us. She simply wants the highest bidder instead of finding the perfect match for surrogates and IPs. Honestly, we could meet her budget if we try to squeeze our finance, use credit cards or taking a loan, but all what we were looking for is a signal that this is a genuine and caring agency. If she offered $5000 discount, we would have been convinced and get onto a happy journey with this agency. But it did not happen.

The lady at this agency who we spoke with is the owner who is Chinese. It seems that this agency has been focusing on rich clients from China since the surrogate indicates she wants to be matched with a family in the US this time. It is just insane that we hardworking, tax-paying American families get outbid by rich Chinese clients that this agency presents to kind American surrogates.

We are very disappointed about our interaction with this agency. Ironically, this happened on the Mother’s Day when we thought we finally found our surrogate match. We really like the surrogate who wants to match with us. If she was with an agency asking for reasonable agency fee, we would be happily matched with her already. In fact, we would prefer to pay the surrogate lady more instead of the ridiculously high agency fee that this Chinese agency asked for.

We are really grateful for all the surrogate angels here. We decided to share our experience with this Chinese agency because it is heartbreaking and insane that some greedy Chinese middleman stands in between American IPs and GCs to make money and not care about finding both parties the best match.