I am so tired of it all
This is mostly a rant.
I've had SO many challenges in my life. From 16 on I had mental health problems that I struggled with until my late 20ies (and still do to an extent). Anxiety, panic attacks, being unable to leave the house, episodes of heavy depression, etc .
When I finally got that under control and was somewhat happy with my life I was studying and working so had almost no free time. During that time my dad got diagnosed with cancer. Shortly before finishing my bachelors degree in early 2022 I had a burnout and couldn't work for half a year. End of 2022 my dad died of his illness. Then came a crazy long and exhausting inheritance process that cost a lot of nerves and lasted until the beginning of 2026... End of 2025 I got my Hashimoto diagnosis and now I am dealing with severe weight gain, heat sensitivity, palpitations, tiredness, you know it.
I was SO ready to finally enjoy life and do fun things and now I feel like shit and have to deal with yet another issue.
At least my doc today seemed competent. Yes, I cried in his office. He said he will always check fT3, fT4, TSH, TPO, TG and also supplements if necessary. He will not just check if they are in range but also if they fit my age and the state of my thyroid. He said I should take supplements specifically fitting for this condition. He said we'll get to the weight once my thyroid is stabilized which I guess makes sense. I know my weight is still in range but every day turned from "what do I feel like wearing" to "what can I still wear". Clothes that were too big a year ago are now too small. I don't want to always buy new clothes because what do I do in half a year then? I might just switch to dresses... Which I usually never wear.
I didn't have time to ask all my questions and I still wanna meet with a dietitian and look at the whole picture but it's a start. My thyroid apparently looks normal.
I'm just so tired, I want to enjoy life and not have to deal with something but every time I can almost grasp it there's something preventing me from just living. I know I should probably start therapy again.
If any of you feel the same way I am deeply sorry. It is hard! If any of you have suggestions how to deal with this (other than obviously therapy) let me know.