u/DingusBingus12

i’ve been dealing with depression since i was at least 8, and i’m 16 now. i know it’s not easy and i shouldn’t expect to just magically get better, but i’m so tired of trying and making no progress. i’m on medication, i’m going to therapy, my family is doing everything they can to support me, and i feel like i’ve done nothing but get worse. my physical health has been getting worse too, but no one knows why. i’m allegedly in perfect health, yet every day i am in so much pain and my depression is probably making it feel worse than it actually is. i couldn’t go to school for two weeks because i physically could not get out of bed. i’m behind in all of my classes, exams are next week, i graduate in two years, and there is apparently something mysteriously wrong with me. i’m also a terrible friend, son, brother, and person. i’m so incredibly negative all the time, but i don’t know how to look at the bright side of things when i don’t even know what the light looks like. i weigh everyone down, i take up time and money and resources, and i’m not even getting better. how am i supposed to improve as a person? i’m going to die alone. i will never know what it’s like to actually live. i’ve been trying so hard to stay strong for everyone, but i am so, so done. i’m weak, and i’m sorry. i am everyone’s failed project.