Neurotipicals always say "but you don't look autistic".
Now, for the first time in 27 years, I'm hanging out with someone that also has my kind of autism (the creative, builder, curious and alternative type - also level 1), and it's like I can finally BREATHE.
Last night I realized how comfortable he feels with me, I gave him a kiss and he asked "How do you know when I'm thinking about kissing you? You always kiss me exactly when I'm thinking about it"
If I where neurotipical, I would probably laught at his face and think it was a joke, and wouldn't answer. That happened to me a lot.
But I understood that it was an innocent and pure question, it was like he was so vulnerable for asking me such a basic question, but NOT basic for some with autism.
I wanted to cry, we are 100% learning to live as happy as we can, for the first time, with each other. We are our supports.
And I explained, "it's something with your eyes, and the way you move your mouth just an inch, I know that you are asking for a kiss without actually asking"
He was mesmerized hahahha
And asked to practice with me, now he tries to guess when I'm wanting a kiss, which it's not hard because I'm always wanting one from him.
I've been dragged through hell this last months, like inhumane trauma shit. And then this crazy 30y guy just coincidentally sits besides me at a class that I enrolled for free, just to meet people and try to stay alive. And I'm having a blast for the first time ever.
I even started trying makeup!!!!!!!!! Which is CRAZY for me.
I hope that we stay this way forever, just 2 brains that are not like most brains, but that somehow found each other and now have some company to get through life the best way possible.
I'm the blue hair, woman, he is the beautiful messy hair.