I am a current Mormon living in New York. I have not always full on believed because of me enjoying science. I basically had to just ignore my feelings on evolution and the church to make it this far
Then I started watching Alyssa grenfell where I learned that the church is just a corporation effectively. However I feel scared to fully leave the church as it's where majority of my friends are and I struggle to make them. I don't feel safe leaving yet as I would be very ashamed. Should I try and keep the mask on for another year so I can get to college then leave or should I wait longer. I'm worried about the pressure of a mission.
I will note I like the people in my church the majority are good people and are effectively humanist (even the bishop). I just don't know how to leave when I am still not an adult. I will note my parentals are supportive of me even if they think I am making the wrong decision. (We have a family rule that our parents always love us which is helpful.)