u/Dire-State-2180

i lived in a home growing up where i wasn't allowed to have autonomy basically not allowed to say no

and i don't even remember what happened to cause a main event in my life but i was kicked out of my house at 16 for talking back and it was rough bc i thought i had friends, good friends yet their parents didn't want me to stay over didn't want any coodies/bad vibes and then that's when i started to realize that friendships are really an image game

i had no family who was willing to take me in - everyone was a flying monkey -my own aunt called me a brat and i remember asking her why was I a brat and she said bc you're always misbehaving and causing problems and i asked her misbehaving how and she said idk your parents always complain abt you

i went to therapy as a kid not for my mental health it was actually bc my mother was getting the therapist to dx me with different disorders so she could control me - i remember sitting in the office of a psychiatrist and she was like oh the meds are working i was 12 here and internally i was laughing bc i would fake take the pills but really flush them down the toilet - i think at 11 i truly learnt that i wasn't allowed to have a choice and that i couldn't have a man to man talk with my school principal or my teachers when told them abt the issues at home bc they always called my parents and then thought going to this hmo would be a safe outlet but the therapist always told my mom what we spoke abt and i learnt i was fucking screwed so 11/12 was the start of my rebellion

she though i was taking her pills and she told the psychiatrist oh dire , they are doing great on these pills can we up the dose and i remember sitting their saying i can do it in my head you can fake it you can do it - and this was my self-actualization yrs trying to survive

so i got kicked out for talking back and i left the country and returned 10 yrs later thinking that maybe my parents my mom was just overwhelmed as a parent i came back to her and as an adult she treated me the same , i wasn't allowed to say no, i wasn't allowed to disagree and my siblings whom i complained to they were the golden kids they would say i was exaggerating or that i got kicked out bc i was rebellious/ i was a kid who did hwk for fun who built interesting shit and eventually got noticed for things and was brought into a special program

i didn't do drugs, curse, go to parties, drink alcohol > i wasn't rebellious this way

rebellious was not honoring my parents, rebellious was talking back, rebellious was refusing to submit to their control

i was underemployed for quite awhile, and when i finally started making money instead of going to a cool place or saving it i chose to get a restraining order against my parents and you know what, they yelled at to me they said you aren't gonna be part of our will, that i was ungrateful and i was like bye felicia and they were like you'll get nothing and i was like sounds good if i can get out from your control

it cost me a lot to do this - it was not only a lot of money 53k, it cost me my relatives, my siblings, it cost me my so called friends and any foundation or "support" i could have potentially have had and since then i've gone through a lot in my life and i've had to be my own pillar but i finally felt like i could breathe without being judged and policed for every little thing

today i was at a restaurant and they have an outdoor space attachment - basically a space with no true walls just wooden frames that has most of their seating

and they also have space inside the restaurant -2 tables and in front of the restaurant - 3 tables

you pick your own seating

there were two pple that came out to sit under the veranda outdoors, but their dog was high pitch whining the whole time

i think it's rude to subject pple to your dog's whining when they were there to enjoy their meal and the surrounding and now they are wincing bc of your dog's whining

the owner did shush the dog each time, but the dog continued this for an hr and maybe even longer bc i left and they were still there

i think they should have chosen to sit in front of the restaurant and not in the enclosed outdoor space where 30 tables were filled with pple

i didn't do this but was thinking of doing it - would it have been rude of me to ask them to sit out front or should i have gotten the restaurant involved? bc i was thinking that if i had gotten involved it would have created an even bigger conflict - i mean when's the last time someone quietly changed their seating even though they knew they were in the wrong - and that's why i didn't but what would you have done?

abt 15 yrs ago i worked in hotels, restaurants and other service jobs while attending a top 30 university

one of my co-workers had a phd in molecular bio and chose the unionized service job bc it offered more stability than lab work

yet customers still talked to us like we were unintelligent or meant to be there

just in the last few days, i've watched customers invent dirt, demand refunds after eating everything, and speak to workers like they ae beneath them. no one stepped in. no one defended the worker.

the shift manager cleaned the imaginary dirt and told the kid, "you do whatever the customer says". it felt wrong.

society teaches pple that a low status job = a low status person, and they act accordingly. but work is work. no one is too good for it-a lot of pple just think they are