Confusing crossroads, 40f 50m
40f here, dating a 50m for the last 7 months. 40 f, divorced for a year and a half after a deadbeat husband, arrested for DV.
In September I started dating an amazing guy, 50 and also divorced. We both have a lot of trauma but work through things quickly when we have disagreements and repair our relationship well. This has been the case up until last week.
Last week he had a discussion with his ex, and he told me that "if he were still the man of the house, he would make the decision" about the argument. That made me furious that he would say that in 2026, to me who is so hesitant and cautious about men. He knows this. We talked and tried to work through this concern, and him bringing and wanting that mindset in our relationship if we were to be married. This was the first discussion we've had that we didn't see eye to eye.
A few days later we were out of town in a place very special to us. We had a hard day but reconnected really well and we're in a good spot. When we left, he said to me, "I love you very much. I want you to know that if you ever wanted to go to Brazil with me to get plastic surgery on your tummy, I'd go with you." He is Brazilian and told me he was coming from a place of concern, that he that is what I was insecure about in my life. We spent the rest of the car ride in silence and didn't speak much since.
Monday night he tells me he's not ready for a relationship and he wants to break up. Yesterday we talked and he would like to think about things for a week . Tomorrow we are talking about the cracks in our relationship and the facts about our life that are concerns for us both... Ex his culture differences, my mental health struggles, our political differences.
We're at a crossroads and standstill right now, and I'm not sure where to go. It's a big decision to make in a week. Is a huge gap in beliefs a deal breaker?