Being SA'd when I didn't even know it by my own father
So this is ig my biggest trauma so far, so actually my father and my mother split up when I was 2.5 years old. This was because my dad has done a second marriage at that time and he kicked me n my pregnant mom out. We started staying at our maternal grandfathers home where life was good.
Then the twist was that my mom became mentally ill and she started to neglect about caring about me or my sister who had taken birth just 2 months ago so some of the reputed individuals from our city (who advises us what to do were reached out by my dad and he asked my n my sisters custody. Since my mom was already mentally unwell, and my stepmom was infertile, the custody of me n my sister went to my father and I moved in with him n my stepmom while my mother was going insane.
I was a kid to understand all what's going so I thought my stepmom is my real mom.
Now this started around 4 to 5 months when I was there my stepmom started to suddenly care too much about me. She used to like stay with me almost all the time and I started trusting her. My father used to come late and night usually and he used to make me sleep in the same room as them and they would do their thing all infront of me and started to ask me to touch their private parts as they told that they are our real beauty and that's what we family members should know about each other, and increase bonding and trust. I remember my father told me when he puts his in my stepmom, he connected with her spiritually and that's what everyone should achieve.
Being brainwashed by my dad i thought all this was normal and started to undress myself also when they started it, slowly and gradually I got used to it.
One day he told me that he'll build a connection with me too,
Being a child, I was curious and asked him all day irritating him and in excitement i even told my stepmom that I'm gonna be closer with dad today. He came home and I started asking him when we'll do it. Then he comforted me and pulled his dick out and asked me to suck him. I was around 5.5 years old and I started doing as my dad told
He asked me to lick it and suck it like I used to eat lollipop and I did as he said as mom also started doing it with me so I didn't feel awkward at all. This went on for more than 2 weeks when my mom also asked me to start licking her private parts. I did it although I felt an irritating taste which I didn't feel with my Father. When I asked them they told thats completely normal and I used to beleive them
Gradually he started to penetrate me while I was around 7 and this went on for 4 years until I found out the truth
I didn't yet confront my father till now about this but I'm glad now I'm not living with them but that trauma just hunts me till today