u/Direct_Relationship2

To those of you who are suffering from the pressure that either your parents or you are placing on yourselves. Just know that you are wonderful as you are, intelligent, talented and perfectly adequate! You don't have to be so adamant on excelling at society's arbitrary measures of your worth, and real happiness comes with a sense of purpose and doing what you love regardless of if it's academic merit or if it provides a 1% salary. You owe yourself happiness!

People are so hard on themselves, they see something worthless in the mirror while everyone else sees well rounded individuals, especially in our desi community (for context I live in the west). There are somehow so many people suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect, which baffles me, because I was a perfectionist who always underestimated my abilities in almost everything because of the way my parents talked to me.

The only two people I know who comitted suicide were both young, both so talented, and both seemingly had the whole world within reach.

The first was in grade 9 when we made it to an academically competitive high school. He always tried his best. He always seemed sad however and the few times I saw his parents pick him up from school they just seemed, cold.. Dissatisfied perhaps? I remember the day he scored 2nd highest in our cohort for a test most of us failed and he seemed so sad about it regardless. Honestly the day the school counsellor broke the news during our music class, I felt paralysed, he became a friend in the little time i knew him.

The second time was in our first year of University (he was from my high school). He was also someone I wanted to be closer friends with. He was extremely gifted academically and secured an internship in no time, fit and great at sports, loved bodybuilding and gym, health and positivity, and was a really kind guy who would talk to the quiet kids while being liked by everyone. He left town one day to a motel where he was eventually found after he passed.

My girlfriend is a counsellor who deals with kids and young adults between 14 and 25. So many Asian and South Asian kids talk about themselves in very harsh ways because they are failing to get into something like med straight out of high school (which is reserved for a miniscule 0.01% of students btw).

My girlfriend herself was very harsh on herself through uni and high school, relinquishing sleep for several days at a time, drinking 600mg of caffeine per night, maintaining an almost perfect GPA while gradually falling apart. She is just starting to heal from depression and awful health after living like this for most of her life.

Life's too short to waste most of it stressing. Do your best but keep things in perspective!