I think I give up
I had an awakening experience last March.. it’s been over a year now and it is destroying my life and my identity. I have tried to be as unattached and in flow with some of these changes but it has taken my entire life - my marriage, my home, my friendships. the only explanation I can give is the possibility that all of this isn’t in absolute alignmen. And as an additional caveat, I wouldn’t say I chose it either.. like in some additional realm before incarnation, sure. but in my conscious mind did I choose divorce, no. It felt like I woke up and my whole life died simultaneously. I tried to will it all back, go to therapy, etc.. and yet, here I am with a divorce, a for sale sign outside my house, and a crumbling identity.
and today, I am absolutely over it. I can’t see the point.. I’ve been fighting to keep my head above rushing water for far too long and there is no payoff. I think I’m just wanting encouragement or words from someone who also effectively sacrificed their entire life for this… because everything that was mine is no longer and I don’t have the strength to keep going