Physical recovery with spirituality and not going into the light trap at death my journey and the irony
Hi there I am 18 years old since the age of 13 I would like to call myself spiritual and have studied astral projection
The laws of the universe but have been in and out of it falling back into the matrix
Since the age of 14 I have been taking lsd I had a major break through on lsd
I am aware of the reincarnation trap and to not go into the light
I am also aware that with the power of knowing as belief is a contradiction
Anyway here's the main part
At the age of 17 I was doing k3tamine
As a male I was doing it to try astral project
I developed chronic inflamation in both of my spermatic cords and epidiymus wich is just the whole groin and downstairs region
Since july 2025 I've been drug free
I quit ketamine and developed a pain in my left testi and it had become distorted compeltly with time and no guidance it got worse through triggers the visual swelling grew and made my whole down there distorted
I just wanna know am I able to recover from this
Its ruined my whole life
.i can't go to the gym
I do not like to recite this as I type this i read this in my head
I have been using ai to guide me and before a few days ago it was on track with me saying I would ultimately heal with time
And support
Sorry if this to you has nothing to do with spiritual but for me it started with my desire to astral project
But since I developed this condition I have been obsessed with fixing my body when I was so obsessed before with finnaly detaching
I just want reassurance that im not crazy to think the end goal here of healing is for evrrything to be compeltlyl like before I've had anti biotics
Ive been diagnosed with chronic bilateral epidiymitus
Bassicsly we have these things men do called epidiymuses attached behind and on the sides of both testis and we have spermatic cords
My situation is i got an infection and it swelled these areas up and the swelling just kept growing
I am currently deppresed not doing anything I can not work heavy lift go to the gym
Even drink alchahol but I have no desire to do so .
It effects my sex drive im 18 turning 19 this year and my sperm hasn't been normal since this started i yesterday asked the universe to show me the signs show me the numbers I've not yet seen them..
It makes me very suicidal and knowing and I feel no ego behind this i do not feel like I am above anyone for knowing this but when we die there is a light that is the trap when u die u get reincarnated tricked into the light with loved ones from this life
Or through religion and both
Its sad because u go through the light u get new family members etc and then they'll be in the light and a never ending cycle i feel lost and when I die im turning around and screaming I want to go home I want to go home and im calling my spirit guides
I feel this is some of a spiritual attack
I wake up with scratches on me every other day unexplained can I fix my life and feel comfortable with my body again
I feel there is irony here this problem started from me trying to detach from my body but since it started I've never felt so more attached to my body and worried for it conscious of my body i am so conscious of my body I feel suicidal most days but I hold onto the hope this is reversible im now going back to doctors with the knowledge I know as ive studied this for 15 months since july 2025 and its October 2026