demonic dream & being mentally tormented irl meaning
i have intrusive thoughts but they’re not so much intrusive when it’s in the back of my head constantly. it’s completely opposite of the person i am, but i have intrusive thoughts about hurting people i love and know are completely innocent and mean no harm. i have all other kinds of horrible thoughts that aren’t mine and it’s mentally tormenting. i also suffer with issues of thinking my thoughts are being broadcasted & delusions of something watching me.
anyways i had a really bad day with these thoughts today and i don’t want to assume, but the specific person these thoughts were about was having a really rough day after i’d been having these thoughts and im wondering if im energetically sending them to him somehow. because when i have these thoughts i imagine them going to him or like im “thinking them to him”. i know energy can’t be created nor destroyed, and these thoughts are some kind of energy, so i feel as if im sending him hurtful energy. whatever i could just be delusional but it’s mentally tormenting.
i fell asleep on the floor and had this dream, woke up at 11:49 pm.
i had a nightmare that there was this toy in a box that was in my room it was like a lps toy and it had some numbers randomly on the box. like 11, 2002, i think 49 but it was a double digit one, etc. and i kept looking at the box it and id turn it and the little animal toy thing would fall over and i keot doing it over and over. and then i see my sister, shes been hiding her face and quiet. i turn her around and she was sunburn from tanning i think, but her right eye is extremely bruised, and theres scratchings on her face her face is torn up and on each cheek theres numbers written on them. and i look at the nimbers and look at the box and automatically put 2 and 2 together that it has correlation to that toy. whatever hurt her has correlation to that toy. and so i get mad and i take the toy out the box i think and say were gonna burn it immediantly. and then these 2 rabdom older people show up a man and a woman and theyre helping me get the stuff to put it in a bag and burn it. (all of a sudden theres more pieces) but we had to get anything it touched. and while thats happening im holding onto the toy but its a trickster so its trying to get out of my hands and etc but im swueezing it with all ive got to hurt it. and the mans getting frustrated because im not outting the items in the bag his way but im also holding onto the toy to make sure it doesnt dissapear but they dont know it can move and its a trickster toy. whule theyre taking forever to put the stuff in the bag its not that much stuff but fir some reason in the dream they were moving so slow and more things had to go in the bag versys just the box and the toy, i was talking to the man about subconscious and conscious mind. idk what i was saying and finally the lady is done or she checks on me with the toy and i wake up. it was a lot scarier than it seems typed out but it was a demonic dream.
the scratches and burns and bruises on my sisters face, the carved numbers especially 11:11 which i thought was related to manifesting. it was just really scary.
when i have these mentally tormenting days (everyday but some worse than others) ill get extremely angry and i have the urge to get careless about everything and violent but i do not and i know better because i dont want to hurt anyone.
and the weirdest part of it all is this is completely against my true nature. naturally im very sensitive and empathetic, and its not really by choice at all. i think my nervous system is just sensitive because i can pick up on the feelings of others not just cognitively but physically and emotionally without trying or wanting to.
im scared im being possessed or attacked or something. does anyone know what the dream could mean and why i am experiencing this.
i also have a history of ouija board usage if that helps any
ps: please dont comment anything about therapy. ive seen 2 different ones over the past 2 years and was just judged and dismissed rather than helped.