u/Direct_Tomorrow_9927

I work at a top company with a genuinely toxic manager. They provide no real leadership but react harshly when work doesn’t match a vision they’ve never articulated. The behavior includes double standards, favoritism, and language that regularly crosses into abusive. There’s a team sycophant who reliably backs them up and questions time estimates in bad faith.

Timelines are consistently unrealistic, the manager has no grasp of what certain work involves, and PRs have been rejected then denied as ever having been submitted. They fixate on minor details, demand revisions, then complain things took too long — all while actively resisting any planning or project management that might actually clarify expectations. There’s also a lot of just… silence or lies. I’ve asked “Is this taking too long?” And the manager replies “no you’re good.” But then I learn from this persons boss years later “that took way too long, we all thought so.”.

Pushback has happened — sometimes poorly, including a few heated public moments that didn’t reflect well. A direct 1:1 conversation months ago tried to name the real issue — unclear and shifting expectations — and was met with complete dismissal.

This same pattern was apparently run on another team member years ago. A former coworker of this manager has called them genuinely volatile.

What’s really emerged is this manipulative, insidious strategy of the manager taking zero accountability, victim blaming me for standing up for myself, and casting me as an obstinate lone wolf.

I’m concerned the manager might be preparing to PIP or terminate.

So: leave, or try to outlast it? The pay is hard to match anywhere else — but is it worth it? Is this even normal?

TL;DR: Abusive FAANG manager, irreplaceable pay, unsustainable situation. What would you do?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Btw, I’m not a bot nor AI. I did have AI help write this mostly to help trim it down as I can be wordy(er). Lol