I've started to have feelings for my best friend [M 19]. But I'm a guy [M 19] and I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. I get butterflies every time we hang out, is that normal?
Like at first we were chilling at his house and he was showing me some games he has, but I couldn't stop staring at his bulge the entire time. It was summertime and it was REALLY hot, so he had those tight athletic shorts on. He caught me looking one time and I blamed it on having a lazy eye because i panicked. I dragged it to halloween and dressed up as a pirate as an excuse to hide it. Our friend group is a bunch of guys who drink together, and me and my best friend go on two mans after the parties we usually host. But, i found myself not caring about the girls, and looking over with jealousy fantasizing that i could be the girl he was with. One night we got too drunk and I made a move. We were on the way to the two man, when I starting rubbing his pants and I felt him getting hard. He parked the car and we made it to the backseat and started passionately making out, but we didn't go any further. We ended up calling off the two man and going straight home, and everything felt normal at that point because we brushed it off as just being drunk. But i've been thinking about it ever since, and I think i've developed feelings for him? I've never experienced this before and I still don't know if i'm gay.