u/DisasterRoutine3390

I’m relatively new to OTB chess and am currently hovering around the 16-1700 USCF level. I spend far too much time on openings than I should for my level but have nevertheless put the work in to be better prepared in razor sharp lines than I’ll likely ever need.

Without getting into the nitty gritty, I consistently enter positions where I am a pawn down but with computer approved full comp, my opponent cannot navigate the positions as well as I can, and cash out by winning an exchange.

It has gotten to a point at my club where I am known for getting into rook + Pawns vs Minor + 1 more Pawn endings and then drawing the game.

I have been working on my endgames extensively this year with both my coach and a couple of the over 2000 players at the club whom I trade chessable files with for endgame lessons (it’s actually been helping all of us. pretty cool!)

I have people keep telling me to not be too hard on myself with this stuff as these imbalances aren’t simple but it is getting really frustrating to consistently understand the resulting positions out of the opening (with both white and black!) better than my opponents, find the crushing tactic, and then still signing the score sheet 1/2-1/2

Is there some kind of intuitive trick I can find in these piece imbalance endings? Chess is hard!

Ive listened to this song for decades but when I look at the lyrics through a modern lens as an adult now it makes me exceedingly uncomfortable and I LOVE Billy Joel’s music.

“She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her
As long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me”

Even if you disregard the blatant stereotyping of women being emotionally manipulative, if anyone acts like this in a relationship that’s incredibly unhealthy and this song seems to be romanticizing it.

I am heavily considering going back to school and attempting a doctoral program in the near future but am unsure if I have the emotional and mental stability to handle the responsibilities.

I have taken graduate courses in the past and truly believe that I have the mathematical maturity to handle a graduate coursload and pursue research in my field of interest. What I am confident I do not have is the emotional wherewithal to navigate the courses, simultaneously teaching, preparing for the quals and also navigating research with minimal supervision.

I have been admitted to psychiatric hospitals in the past and do not think I could as I currently am survive a PhD with my mental health in tact.

I still love the subject itself and want to do applied research and enjoy proof but I promised I would not sacrifice my mental wellbeing for anyone or anything and I am not going back on that promise now.

How do I best tackle this?

I’m not currently in academia myself (taking a bit of time to work before I go back and attempt a doctorate) but I recently found a paper published by a young researcher who now works in industry whose work is directly tied to what I want to do. I assume his .edu email is no longer active but I can’t find any publicly listed contact pages and I’m not keen to cold message him on linked in (I assume most people ignore those and assume they are all recruiters) am I out of luck?