My YM groomed me?
I’m 27 years old now, but when I was a preteen/teenager I was heavily involved in the church. I started getting involved with the youth group when I was 12. My youth minister was 15 years older than me and she seemed so cool. She gave me a nickname and praised me for various academic achievements. She went to my theatre shows and choir concerts and my birthday parties. She helped me learn how to drive, taught me about sexual education (in the religious sense. Not REAL sex ed)
I quickly grew attached to her and she could see that and “took me under her wing”.
So here’s the thing, I knew I was a queer when I was 16, I kept it hidden from everyone until I was 18, and she was the first person I told. After that, she took more of an interest in me. She started giving me books on how to overcome homosexuality, took me to lunches to talk about my progress, texted me throughout the week reminders and Bible verses to “help me”. One time we even traveled to a different state together (just us 2) and stayed in a hotel room (again just us 2) to go to a wedding. During that time she told me how excited she was to officiate my wedding one day and see me have a husband and a family. She said I was like a sister to her and that my kids and her kids would play together.
So fast forward to now. I’m out as a lesbian, I’m married to a woman, and we have a four month old baby. My former YM is nowhere to be found. She completely dropped me as soon as I came out publicly. Said nothing about my marriage or my child.
My wife says that she groomed me and when I didn’t do what she wanted she left. I feel used. I gave my entire childhood to the church- I was the darling. Everyone knew me. They told me they knew I would do great things. Now I’m blocked by them. But the one that hurts the most is my former YM. She doesn’t have me blocked on anything and she still is one of the first people to view my stories, but she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even like anything.
Anyways was this grooming?