Are my parents emotionally abusive/neglectful or am i being dramatic?
Hi so first of all I want to start by saying just be honest. You don't have to say they are if you don't think so just to validate my feelings. I don't even know myself, and as I was reading this subreddit I've seen others have much MUCH worse but I just want to know if I am being dramatic because I don't want to ruin my entire relationship with my parents if I am just being a dramatic sensitive teenager (you can tell me if that's the case too).
(TW: SH, Suicidal thoughts ig?)So I've only been thinking about this recently, as I've been going to therapy but most of my life I've felt that something was wrong with me. Ever since I was a child I've been a perfectionist, and when i couldn't do something for the first time, I cried and hated myself. My parents said a lot that I was being dramatic, and told me to stop whining. When I found something hard, I would cry and they would tell me with the energy I wasted on throwing a tantrum, i could've learned it. I then started feeling guilty, hitting myself, walking around in circles for the purpose of not letting myself rest because I did something bad, and contemplating unaliving myself to pay back for what I'd done. My main problem was (and still is a little tbh) that I was feeling so horrible, but I had no idea why, because compared to others my life was perfect, my parents loved me and therefore the only explanation was that I was just a dramatic person.
Now, my mother likes everything pristine clean and I feel overwhelmed when I try to do everything she says, and even if I do it, she'll still find something wrong about it and call me forgetful and lazy. She always comes home late, because she does everything for us (even when we didn't want her to) and then tells us that we're lazy and do nothing. When I try to help, she says she'd rather do it herself and that when i try to do something she always has to fix it after, and that takes more of her energy, so she'd rather do it herself.
My father overall doesn't care much about what other people want. He has a few things he's obsessed with, anything to do with the guitar, no wasting food (he apparently hit me once when I was a child for throwing out a sandwitch but I don't remember much), no leaning against the wall, and we always have to do what he wants, if he wants to watch a match on the family tv he always gets to even if my mom and I want to watch something else. He often yells at me, says I'm stupid when I don't think how he does and tells me that there are only problems with me when for example I spill a glass of water. He also threathens to hit me, but he hasn't done it recently, because at that point I'm scared and don't push further.
(TW:SH)A few months ago, I was practicing guitar and I was mad at myself bc I wasn't good so I hit my hand on my pillow but it slipped and hit the wood part of the bed. It really hurt, but I still did everything normal bc I didn't want to be whiny about it. A week later, I searched up on google and got scared that I'd broken my hand and asked them to take me to the hospital. They told me that "oh it's not broken stop overreacting" (to be fair, I do have health anxiety and tend to overreact things like this) and they were annoyed that I was causing them so many problems cause they were already overwhelmed with other family issues. They took me a few days later anyways and it turned out to be indeed broken (like, I was lucky I didn't need surgery broken). My mom apologised for not listening to me though, my dad just said that I was very stupid and I should've broken my right hand cause I don't need it that much for the guitar.
So yeah, I know it's not exactly as bad as the others here, and I know they still love me, I just don't understand why I am the way I am and I want to know if this had anything to do with it or is it more my fault, and I'm just a teenager with mental health issues.
Thanks for reading and again please be honest!