My (F38) ex-partner (M35) broke up, it's been 2,5 months still living together while he's looking for a new place and I'm falling apart, how to make him understand that he needs to find temporary lodgings?
Okay. I need advice so bad.
So we've been together for 6 years and living together in this apartment for 3 of them. We got it together but for reasons of bureaucracy, my name is the only one on the contract. He asked me if I wanted to keep the apartment, if so he'd let me have it, and he'd find another one. We live in a large-ish city and it's not easy finding an apartment quickly.
So he believes that him letting me have the apartment means that he can live there until he finds a new place, and flew into a rage when I told him that I please need him to move out. It's a 2 room flat which is quite cramped. I'm going to pieces here, and he's gotten more depressed and says it's painful for him too. But he still thinks we can keep this up until he finds an apartment. Relevant here is that he can easily live temporarily with his parents in their (large) house, where he still has his boy room. It's even closer to his work that way. He tells me that if I find it too painful I can go stay with my parents, who live in another city an hour away by car, and in a 2 room flat.
I've divided up the apartment so that he has his stuff in the bedroom and sleeps there, while I sleep in the living room. When he's at home he barely leaves the bedroom and does next to nothing of housework and cleaning. He hadn't packed one thing before our argument two days ago.
He's livid with me now, we've tried to keep things friendly up until this but now I don't know. Can't reason with him, he's just defensive and confrontative. Like he wants to be angry with me. We've never shouted at each other like this, I gave up on getting through to him and just told him to please leave by the end of the month. At which point he buggered off to his parents in a rage but says that I "must" keep the rest of his stuff for at least three months, from the date I told him to move out. He says it's as much his apartment as mine until he moves, even though he's told me I can have it. But apparently not without conditions. He thinks I'm unfair and unreasonable. Am I?
I'm angry and disappointed and heart-broken and sad. And completely lost. I don't want to have this argument with him, but I haven't gotten over the fact that the person whom I considered to be my life partner no longer wants to be with me, and I won't until he moves out.
I know one option is that I move, I'm looking for other advice on how ppl deal with this, if someone has experience?
Thanks <3