Is it wrong that I h@te my mom?
Is it haram that I h@te my mom? She’s never been a good mom to me. Always has showed favoritism to my other siblings. Mind you I got 5 other siblings. But when I was less than a year old she left me and came back when I was 8-9. I wanted my mom so bad. But she turned out to be unloving and a severe punisher with every wrong thing I ever did. She has never hugged me or showed me love in any love language. She accused me of sleeping with her husband when I was 13 (not my dad) and I was S(a) by one of her bfs. I was s(a) by a few of my uncles. We came to the US because my sister was here. And she went through a bunch of abuse including s(a)I never told her I was SA by any of these people. And when I did try to tell her that her husband showed me explicit content on her tv when I used to care for my bb brother, and she used to work night shift she didn’t believe me. (I believe he was trying to groom me). I cried and broke down in front of her and told her this and she didn’t believe me.
She kicked me out of her house, because I wasn’t paying rent literally onto the street and tried to keep my legal documents from me because I became Muslim. This woman has never been religious but all of a sudden I become Muslim and now she’s a firm believer in Christianity. I was a practicing Christian ever since I can remember. She started going to church a year previously I become Muslim because of me.
I had always struggled with Christianity but I still believed in God so I kept searching and then o found Islam and the rest is history. It has been 3 years since I became Muslim. 2.5 since I told her, and 1.5 years since I’ve spoken to her and 1.5 years since she kicked me out and blocked me on everything. I don’t want to talk to her because she really has broken every inch of my heart. I can’t help but h@te her. She my mother ofc there is still some love but I can help but love h@te her.