r/reverts

Assalamualaikum,

I'm currently conducting my dissertation research on the everyday experiences of Muslim women in India, particularly experiences related to visible religious identity and wearing the hijab.

I really need help in getting responses, as I have almost reached my deadline and am still falling short, especially from revert women.

Participants must be women above 18 years of age, currently residing in India, and identify as Muslim (born Muslim or convert).

The form is short, completely voluntary, and responses will remain anonymous and confidential. Kindly help me reach potential participants or circulate the form if possible.

Your support would truly mean a lot.

JazakAllah khair

Salam alaikum. I’m a revert and I’ve been struggling with this deeply. I’m trying to understand what Islam says about taking distance from family when the relationship has become emotionally harmful. Just for some context my family is not muslim.

About a year ago my husband and I separated during a very difficult period in our marriage, and while pregnant with our second child I moved back in with my family. During that time, my family repeatedly brought up my husband’s mistakes and became angry when I refused to insult him or speak badly about him, especially in front of our toddler because I believe children should be protected from adult conflict as much as possible.

Things became very painful in the home. My younger brother has severe anger issues and has said extremely hurtful things to me, including telling me I should kill myself, wishing I would get cancer and die, and telling my toddler not to talk to him because they “don’t share the same blood”, insinuating that I am a who** for getting pregnant even though i was married and living with my husband?? He’s laughed in my face an said “I look at you and laugh you’re pathetic look at your life” There’s so much he’s said I could be here all day. While I was 8 months pregnant he once grabbed a hot pan I was using to make breakfast and threw it into the sink while I was standing there. He has also stepped up to me aggressively like he wanted to hit me. My mother usually tells me to ignore him because “he’s crazy,” and if I speak up for myself I’m treated like I’m the problem.

Alhamdulillah, my husband and I have been working through our issues and are currently looking for our own place now that he has employment again. But after everything that happened, I honestly feel deeply hurt and emotionally broken. I don’t hate my family, and I want to forgive them for the sake of Allah, but I also feel like I need distance to heal. Part of me wants to spend a year or two keeping communication very minimal or completely stepping away for my mental and emotional wellbeing.

Would that be considered haram or sinful in Islam? I know maintaining family ties is important, but I also don’t know how to reconcile that with constant verbal abuse, hostility, and feeling unsafe emotionally while pregnant and with children around. I would really appreciate sincere Islamic advice, especially from people knowledgeable about balancing family ties with protecting yourself and your children.

Guys I’m just looking for some friends that are reverts and possibly struggling. To support eachother and learn about eachothers stories. I want to get closer with my deen and I need a network.

Please help me with your comments and messages :)