assalamu alaykum, i am a revert from kuwait and planning on getting married to a man in belgium, i dont have a wali from my family and i cannot go to an islamic judge in kuwait because it might cause me harm from my family since they cant know about my reversion, i am looking for an islamic center in belgium that i can assign a wali from, or if there is any other solutions feel free to help us
For context, we were in a haram relationship for 1 year, but we had intentions to make it halal however it was too late when we started arguing and losing each others trust to the point where she says she "hates" me and blocked me. It really is more bad then it seems I really messed up a lot with her trust and everything. And deep down I really do care for this person and eager to marry them one day so it really hits me when I ask this but:
I know du'a' can change qadr/destiny and I 100% believe it definitely can happen for us to reunite one day; however I don't want to be in that stage where I make dua for them and it doesnt end up working for what ever reason that Allah is leading me too but at the same time I really like this person and hope to be theirs one day. We are still young, so I know its going to take alot of Tawakkul and Sabr
I appreciate any advice Jazakullah Khair
Is it haram that I h@te my mom? She’s never been a good mom to me. Always has showed favoritism to my other siblings. Mind you I got 5 other siblings. But when I was less than a year old she left me and came back when I was 8-9. I wanted my mom so bad. But she turned out to be unloving and a severe punisher with every wrong thing I ever did. She has never hugged me or showed me love in any love language. She accused me of sleeping with her husband when I was 13 (not my dad) and I was S(a) by one of her bfs. I was s(a) by a few of my uncles. We came to the US because my sister was here. And she went through a bunch of abuse including s(a)I never told her I was SA by any of these people. And when I did try to tell her that her husband showed me explicit content on her tv when I used to care for my bb brother, and she used to work night shift she didn’t believe me. (I believe he was trying to groom me). I cried and broke down in front of her and told her this and she didn’t believe me.
She kicked me out of her house, because I wasn’t paying rent literally onto the street and tried to keep my legal documents from me because I became Muslim. This woman has never been religious but all of a sudden I become Muslim and now she’s a firm believer in Christianity. I was a practicing Christian ever since I can remember. She started going to church a year previously I become Muslim because of me.
I had always struggled with Christianity but I still believed in God so I kept searching and then o found Islam and the rest is history. It has been 3 years since I became Muslim. 2.5 since I told her, and 1.5 years since I’ve spoken to her and 1.5 years since she kicked me out and blocked me on everything. I don’t want to talk to her because she really has broken every inch of my heart. I can’t help but h@te her. She my mother ofc there is still some love but I can help but love h@te her.
To all revert sisters struggling with marriage, still finding their feet, and facing racism within the ummah , take heart 💜!
Please note: this is my personal experience and reflection. Every journey looks different and this is not a one size fits all just one sister sharing honestly.
Salaam everyone,I’ve been researching Islam for a while now, and somewhere along the way I hit a wall I wasn’t expecting. Reading about the experiences of Black revert sisters shook me the isolation, men hiding behind religion, the marriage crisis nobody talks about openly, and the racism within the very spaces that were supposed to feel like home. I went in thinking everything would be rainbow and sunshine and came out genuinely hurt. I’m scared to admit I want marriage because wanting something you can’t easily access is its own kind of vulnerability. I’m scared of religious manipulation honestly nothing frightens me more than a man weaponising faith. At this point I’ve half-jokingly told myself to just adopt a child and call it even. And honestly? I don’t even know if I’ll end up being Muslim.
But here’s what I keep coming back to: the nature of men and the nature of God are two very different things. What people do with religion and what the deen actually is are not the same thing. To the sisters still finding their footing in the deen you belong here too. The journey is not linear and you don’t have to have everything figured out to be valid in your faith. And to those who have faced rejection because of racism within the ummah I see you. That wound cuts especially deep because it comes from a place that was supposed to be your sanctuary, a community built on the principle that no Arab has superiority over a non-Arab, no white over a Black. Your blackness is not a barrier to your faith. It never was. The racism you have experienced is a failure of people, not a reflection of the deen.
We are all still learning, still holding the hurt and the beauty at the same time. I’m choosing to fall back in love with the deen itself and filter out the noise or at least trying to figure out if this path is mine. You are not too much. You are not too dark. You are not too anything. Still here. Still learning.
Wa Alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
💜