Missing your sick body is normal, but I didn't realize that gaining weight and becoming a healthy bmi would make me so depressed. To be honest, it's not that I necessarily miss the way my sick body looked. It's because it felt good to lose the weight. It felt good to be thin. I was legitimately happier.
Maybe it was the control that ana gave me. I think I've been depressed the whole time. But it's easy to forget how depressed you are when your hunger is more on your mind.
As a depressed, unemployed, fat, failing college student, I've realized that I've only had two accomplishments:
becoming skinny, and graduating high school
Now I feel like I could do it again, but healthier. Getting to bmi 17 wouldn't be bad.
u/Disastrous-Drag-722 — 25 days ago