Figuring it out
Wife and I are pretty much seperate but living together because of our senior dog who is very important to both of us. We’ve been together 19years and married for 11. I (m42) am struggling pretty heavy with functioning as an emotionally stable adult and pretty much follow my wife (37) around like a lost dog. She is the manager of our life and always has been. She is very type A and in control which is totally fine by me and the way my personality operates. Over the past year or so there has been a shift and she is and has been asking for me to step up more as a partner. My reluctance comes from fear of letting her down and creating more frustration than positive. She takes this as me not caring and gets more resentment towards me. It’s a pretty toxic situation at this point because we just keep spinning around and around. I have some standard “mother “ issues and have been in therapy for the second time in my life for the past two months. But I just can’t get over the hump. My nice guy follower persona is just stuck in gear in my head and it’s just worse. She keeps saying I need to fix it on my own and take control and I just feel worse about myself. Any thoughts or relatable experiences?