Confused and overwhelmed with emotions
Hi ladies. I‘ve been following your pod for sometime now on TikTok. I never once thought I’d be submitting anything.
I really need help here. I’ve (F-28) been in a relationship with my man (M-32) for just over 3 years now. Don’t fight me, but he was never the romantic type. He never really takes me out on dates or buys flowers or anything. Full transparency, when we met I had said to him those things have never been my focus in a relationship. I was more concerned about alignment and character. Now, I know that’s where I was wrong because he took it as that means he doesn’t have to at all. I’ve expressed and explained to him that I still want those things but he just doesn’t.
Granted his financial situation hasn’t been the greatest which is why all these years it didn’t bother me. I managed to get a decent job and helped him get into the same company. Still no change. He had some difficulty with the job and almost lost it, I was there. Not only supporting but also speaking to people in the company trying to help him secure his job. Fast forward to now, he has moved departments and this week was his first week.
We live together and I earn more money. I only earn more because I work longer hours. Our agreement when we moved in together was that I take care of the rent and he does everything else. Lets just say, I am now responsible for rent, levies, help out with groceries, medical aid for both of us,he’ll take me out on a date and I end up contributing, his car breaks down and I foot the bill (mind you I don’t have a car of my own because I can’t save up for one with all this on my shoulders), etc. I can barely go out with friends, do my hair or nails, buy myself skin care. Even when there are emergencies, I will take out a loan in my name. All of this while he goes out at least twice with his friends after pay day, buys takeout every other day and the works. It gets worse because amongst all of this I’m still taking care of household duties like cooking and cleaning, he helps out but not nearly as much as I feel he should (which I’ve also expressed). I take over time at work as much as I can to cover things which means I barely have time for myself as well.
I love this man, I really do. However, in the past few months I’ve been growing resentment and it comes at the worst possible time because he is going through a tough time at work. I don’t even know what I want to hear from you guys, I guess I want to know if I’m crazy for feeling this way?