r/Emotions

I think one of the fastest ways people emotionally burn out
is constantly being the person others rely on emotionally
without receiving the same support back.

At first,
you don’t really notice it.

You listen.
You understand people.
You stay emotionally available.

But eventually,
you realize something uncomfortable.

You became everyone’s safe place
while quietly having nowhere to put your own emotions.

And after enough time,
something changes psychologically.

You stop opening up as much.

Not because you stopped caring.

But because emotional exhaustion
eventually turns vulnerability into silence.

I had a lightbulb moment for me yesterday with my histamine issues. How much histamine symptoms mirror shame. I’m tapping into and recognizing how many situations in my life cause me to feel shame and I’m curious if this feels like something to anyone else?
I can think back to when I first started feeling my histamine issues and it was at a time where a boss was verbally abusive and I felt shame almost daily from the comments my boss made.
Anyone else find emotional or spiritual connections to histamine intolerance?

I see who you are now. And I understand that so much of it was just an act, an illusion, a lie. The most painful part is not that the love ended — the most painful part is that I believed in someone who hurt me so deeply.

You once told me that I was the first person who ever did such wonderful things for you, the first person who truly cared about you the way I did. I gave you my love, my loyalty, my heart, and parts of myself that I never gave to anyone else. Yet you treated me like I was nothing. Like I had no value to you at all.

Instead of appreciating the love I gave you, you blamed me for everything and hid behind excuses that could never justify the pain you caused. You made me feel like I was the problem, while all I ever tried to do was love you genuinely and stand by your side.

You made me walk away with your silence, your abuse, your disrespect, and your complete lack of accountability. I stayed longer than I should have because I believed in you, in us, and in the person you made me think you were. But in the end, I realized I could not keep destroying myself trying to save someone who kept hurting me and refusing to take responsibility for it.

Still, from the bottom of my heart, I hope that one day you learn how to truly love. That you will be able to love someone not only with words, but with actions. That you will understand how a husband should respect his wife, protect her, be vulnerable, humble, willing to compromise, and make a woman feel safe beside him.

I hope that you will never have to experience the kind of pain I experienced because of you. I hope you never wake up wondering whether you are living in a nightmare, whether life is testing you, or whether you let a demon into your life. You hurt me to the deepest core of my soul, and even now it is difficult to explain the pain I felt.

But even after everything, I do not wish that pain on you. I would not wish it on anyone — not even the person who shattered me into a thousand pieces.

I hope that one day you truly understand what you did. And I hope that by then, you become someone who will never hurt another person that way again.

I’ve noticed something about emotional exhaustion.

People don’t become distant overnight.

It usually starts with explaining things
and hoping for understanding.

At first, people respond.
They try.
They listen.

But over time,
you start noticing a pattern.

Nothing really changes after those conversations.

So eventually,
you stop explaining.

Not because you don’t feel anything anymore.

But because constantly translating your emotions
to people who only understand them in the moment
becomes mentally draining.

And slowly,
you become quieter.

Not colder.

Just more selective with your emotions.

I'm writing this because I need to understand what's happening to me. I'm 23 years old now, and the problem is that I hardly feel anything anymore. No more joy, no more fear, no more anguish, nothing. Faced with super serious situations that should make me panic, I remain unmoved. When someone annoys me, 5 minutes later I've already moved on.

However, when I was younger, I was just the opposite: hyper angry, fearful, I cried for nothing.

Sometimes, without warning, otherwise, the pressure cooker explodes. I let go of everything, I totally lose control of myself and I can become super hurtful or threatening with my words.

So that you understand the context, I am coming out of 4 years of absolute suffering. When I was 18, I left my parents to run away from my stepfather, a verbally aggressive guy who spent his time blaming everyone else for everything that happened in the house (he never questioned himself, and he ended up cheating on my mother).

​During these 4 years alone, I lived in misery: total lack of money, exhaustion, I earned nothing. In terms of food, it was chaos, I ate anything (McDonald's, candy) or I ate almost nothing. To top it off, I was cheated on by the girl I loved the most in the world. During this whole period when I was suffering, I felt extremely alone, abandoned by everyone.

​It ended in total collapse. I went bankrupt, I found myself in debt, my car has broken down for 10 months, I lost my job and I had become completely suicidal.

Because of all this, I was forced to go back to live with my mother and her toxic husband. Except that now, the balance of power has changed: I scare him. We have brutal arguments, him and I, and we stop because my mother tells me so (they still live together but the story will be long if I say it)

Thank you.

I won’t get into too much detail right now. However, I believe that all negative emotions in response to a situation are completely irrational. I’m looking for someone to prove me wrong or at least find a situation where I’m wrong. Good luck.

For context yes I had depression/anxiety/adhd being treated for all and yes, I’m in therapy. I just really enjoy turning on sad music for some reason. It just feels real and brings everything to reality if that makes sense. Does anyone else resonate?

One of the loneliest forms of emotional exhaustion
is realizing your pain changes nothing.

You explain how you feel.
You try to communicate calmly.
You open up carefully.

And eventually,
you notice the pattern.

People apologize,
but nothing changes.

So over time,
you stop expressing things completely.

Not because you no longer feel emotions.

But because constantly translating your pain
to people who only temporarily understand it
becomes mentally exhausting.

That’s why some people become quieter with time.

Not weaker.

Just tired of repeating emotional truths
that nobody truly adjusts to.

Hey so im 22F and i have a problem. I hate myself and the way i look. The only reason i came here to write this down is because i feel no one can understand me and im alone with my problem.

So for context, i get really bad depressive episodes every few months when something triggers my body dismorphia. I used to struggle with an ED which resulted in a massive weight loss. The saddest thing is my problem with food was never seen as bad, people were actually nicer to me all the time when i was at my lowest, saying i look waay better. Eventually i managed to stop avoiding food, i got better. But ever since i got into a really hard and stressful college i started gaining weight again. This made me spiral back into depression. Im not overweight but definitely not skinny and also i struggle with PCOS- a lot of unwanted hair growth, easy weight gain…
I never asked for professional help, i try to manage all of this alone.

I started feeling good after all of those years of hating myself and now im back here again. Im 22 years old and i have never been in a relationship, never went past a second date. People approach me, im just too disgusted by myslef to let them get through to me. All of my friends have been at least once in love, that never happens to me. I feel so sad. I dont know whats wrong and why am i like that. I feel so ugly and unwanted.

The worst thing is even my friends who are the only thing in my life worth living for do not understand me. They dont understand that every time a rendom guy decides to ghost me i want to die. Not because im rejected but because it reminds me of how im not able to look at myself in the mirror. It reminds me of all the time someone takes a picture of me and i just cry for hours. It reminds me of how i walk in the streets everyday and EVERY SINGLE GIRL i see (really every) i imagine how i would rather be her then me.

And all my friends have to say is cmon your pretty stop youll get better in a few days.

They dont understand that i never will.

[supprimé]

Can anyone answer without telling you to understand why you have the emotion? I understand why I’m jealous and I know it’s partially fomo. I’m jealous because the normal people around me are always going to the beach, theme parks, on vacations, or activities with friends/ family. They get continuous support and therapy weekly/ monthly. Their parents pay for everything and do anything for them. My parent tells me “that’s life” and all I can afford to do is work and home and clean. I can’t even save for anything nice I can barely afford my apartment while my friends parents or partners help pay for theirs. They do trips twice a month minimum, barely work, lots of friends, emotional support, and personal time. I work for 12-18hours a day and 6 days a week with basically nothing to show for it. I don’t even have time for anything. No emotional support, and no family support, and I always try my hardest to think of others and do things for others. I’m in my 20s that’s why all the people I know is around my age and gets lots of support. I’m also working towards a better life, I just got a scholarship for school and I’m about to go (this does not make me feel any better). Please help, I’m for real losing it. I would love to just be able to afford going to an activity with my friends a few times a year.

Does anyone else feel low/depressed every other day or are there people who are genuinely happy and satisfied with life?

I genuinely wonder this all the time. Poor people, rich people, people at the top… how are some people actually happy? Or does everyone just hide it?

Instagram makes it worse. Everyone’s life looks perfect, peaceful, exciting. I know social media isn’t real but still… sometimes I feel like I’m the only one struggling with these feelings.

The weird thing is… I actually have a good life. Loving partner, house, good income, everything I need. Nothing major is “wrong”.

But still there’s this constant feeling that something is missing. Happiness comes for a while and then again… anxiety, unexplained sadness, overthinking, no peace. Like a quiet depression sitting in the background and I don’t even know why.

The only times I feel truly okay are when I get closer to God. That gives me peace for a while. But then somehow I fall back into the same feelings again.

Deleted Instagram a few times thinking maybe comparison was affecting me… and then I end up downloading it again.

Idk. Just wondering if anyone else feels like this or if some people are actually genuinely content with life.

Just absolutely bawled my eyes out after pleasuring myself, like within seconds of finishing before I could even think about anything else I just felt tears rolling down my face and before you know it I’m wailing crying. like loud sad ugly crying uncontrollably. This has never happened to me before and I also am not a crier at all. It’s probably bc I don’t let it out enough and something to do with an intense physical release also lets out an emotional release. I might have been subconsciously holding back a lot of my feelings recently. idk that’s my guess but I’ve never cried like that in my life, or at least not yet in my adulthood. (In 24) Anyone have more insight or care to share an experience of their own? Comfort? Something, I think I’m struggling more than I thought.

​

​I (19)have been a top student since I was a child, as well as an all-rounder in both sports and extracurricular activities. I used to be a really extroverted kid who participated in almost everything. However, after I turned 14, everything went downhill. The pandemic hit, and my life has not been the same since. I became incredibly self-conscious about my body after developing fungal acne all over my face and body, which made me feel deeply insecure.i felt everybody around me was so beautiful and I felt like an ugly ass pig.

Around that time, I lost all of my childhood friends, moved to a different place, and experienced bullying. Everyone began to view me as weird, and I transformed into the quietest kid in the class. Had gone through some trauma that made me extremely introverted and I also cut my self one at 14.[tried multipe suicide attempts from age 14 to 16, never after that ]

​Now, I feel entirely numb. I have lost interest in all of my hobbies and no longer participate in any social activities. Nothing romantically interesting has ever happened in my life—I haven’t even had a crush. I have never felt attracted to anyone because I constantly feel like I am not good enough, which makes me feel like I might be asexual. Every single thing feels completely overwhelming to me, and I find myself thinking from very detached, different perspectives. Simply existing in a physical body is so difficult. I just feel like I want to die because my life feels incredibly bland, boring, and devoid of purpose.

​Even though I have very loving parents, I still feel a strong urge to leave them, erase my identity as their daughter, and move away to the woods to live alone until I die. I don't feel happy in this crowded city surrounded by walls instead of nature; everything here feels toxic, and I deeply long to live in the forest.

​Recently, my grandfather—who I was incredibly close to and grew up with—passed away. I didn’t even feel pain or cry; I have truly lost all of my emotions.

​Another thing is that after a certain age, I started creating different personalities for every situation and person in my life. For example, if you were to ask my pre-college friends from a year ago about me, and then ask my current college classmates, you would get two completely different answers.Not only college and school,  but for every single situation.

​Ultimately, life feels so empty yet simultaneously overwhelming.I have somewhat convinced myself that staying like this is normal , and now i am used to this.I just want to die.I wouldn't say I am actively suicidal, but if a vehicle were coming straight toward me, I wouldn't move out of the way.

​

I always give 100% to the people I date. I support them, love them unconditionally, and treat them right, yet I always end up with the wrong person. It feels like no matter how much emotional effort you put in, everything eventually revolves around financial status, security, or what you can materially provide.
Has modern love just become entirely transactional? How do I break this cycle of choosing people who don't value genuine affection? I'd love to hear your perspectives or advice.

At 2 AM,
everything you distracted yourself from
suddenly becomes loud.

The memories.
The disappointment.
The unanswered questions.

That’s why quiet people stay awake so long.

Their body is tired,
but their mind
still hasn’t found peace.

Problem/Goal: I’ve been feeling so irritable, easily annoyed, and sometimes downright numb when talking to her. I always ask for assurance, get it, yet even the smallest of things make me down it.

Context: Me and my gf are LDR, Hawai’i to Philippines. We’re trying our best. Last year, we had some fights (people I was uncomfy with, sudden changes in behavior, getting called “nakakaasar” when asking for reassurance because it was repetitive) in short, I was anxious attachment and you know how that goes. Then this year, I fucked up and hurt her. Now we’ve both forgiven each other and are strangely stronger now.

However, I feel so tired now. Like I can’t let go of some of the fights we had last year (a few were I got ignored after getting scolded by my parents, I turned to her for comfort but k-drama and beer won lol, she did apologize the next day but it never felt right. The next was a new friend she made started to get super close to her, the guy would just call kasi “tamad mag chat” even sinasabay with us pag nakacall kami claiming “org stuff” pero maya maya nagluluto and kumakain na pala sa harap niya and still naka call. Then all I asked was for regular updates, and even that was forgotten. “umuulan kasi nagmamadali” i said then chat before leaving. calls that we never ended suddenly started ending because its LDR now. It all changed so fast and I was left behind. And every time I brought up how I felt, it would always end with me apologizing no matter what it was.

So ofcourse me, I brought it up kasi bakit ganon? Eh just last year when I was still in the Philippines, I cut off my female friends because she didnt like how often I chatted with them. I obliged ofc.

Fast forward this year, I fucked up and I am still reeling from it. I almost ended us, but she forgave me and we moved on from it now treat it as a joke, but basically I made a friend here and didnt tell her about it at first, only told her when we decided to meet up which I lied to her about when we met. I never spoke to that person again and have been continuously trying to make up for everything.

Anyway now, I feel were “stronger” in a way, more secure. She said she understood that she was unfair to me last year and I still apologize for what I did.

but these days somethings changed in me. issues that used to bother me still do yet i dont voice out anymore, feels easier to keep things in.

and how close she is again with her new friends, idk. I dont feels special anymore. everything she tells me she tells them, stuff she tells them doesnt tell me. talking to them to happily yet quiet and non-energetic. that steamdeck i bought her for us to play unused. she always says “pag nagtugma time natin” but when we do have days in the house shed rather be on socmed, or when im talking to her shed be distracted by chats from her friends that shed tune me our. shed say sorry, i have to explain again.

now shes out with friends after a night of drinking with them a few days ago. She hasnt replied in 3 hours, I say “okay shes out with friends” sees shes online 20 mins ago, gets curious, I check her messenger (she has mine to and ironically she used to monitor me just like this when I cut my friends off) she chatted with those friends shes currently with rn and im left at the bottom unresponded to.

Now idk what to do, I dont feel chosen and heard or even wanted anymore. she says she loves, misses, and wants me, but those words dont feel like anything anymore. after i work 4 am to 12 am shifts while studying just so that I can send her gifts since its one of the only things I can do (because things like games, movies, or anything else wont work because she gets bored).

Im at am impass and I need some perspective.